Fallout 4 Fantasies: A Blatant Self-Insert
by Xx420BongSquadxX
Summary: In the not too-distant future, Bethesda has yet to publish anything original. In a world of evolving technology, however, a more advance and immersive type of virtual reality has allowed people to experience the re-re-re-re-release of Fallout 4 like never before.
1. Chapter 1

"It's fucking here!" Dan shouted as he ran into the house with glee.

"You're new fleshlight?" Mike replied in a tone that conveyed sarcasm, but also a note of genuine curiosity.

"No! It – wait, what? Fuck you, Mike." Dan opened the box delivered by drones of Great King Fuhrer Bezos, and after removing a slew of packing peanuts, revealed a large and sleek black helmet.

"This is the new VR helmet! This thing is going to change gaming."

"We've had VR for a while now." Mike pointed out, "How exactly is this going to change anything?"

"Okay, well, for one…" Dan began, "This isn't just playing video games. You wear this bad boy when you sleep, okay? You wear it and get to spend a third of your day gaming with no fucking consequences! I can game from nine to five and not waste any of my day!"

"Why do you get up so early?" Mike asked.

"Irrelevant!" Dan responded, "The game takes place in dreams – within MY MIND!"

"Uh, okay – that's, um, neat."

Dan shot an annoyed glance at Mike. While he didn't expect Mike that share his complete enthusiasm over this new device, he didn't appreciate the condescending tone Mike had displayed throughout the conversation. Mike clearly picked up on this.

"So, wait, what console is it for? You just have your laptop. Is it, like, PC or Xbox One X 360 X or PS6?" Mike asked, trying to seem interested.

"Actually, there's no console. Just games downloaded to the helmet." Dan fiddled with the helmet in his hands, eventually resting it so that the visor faced directly at him. He spent a moment gazing at the helmet, and then resumed speaking.

"This one came with Fallout 4: Game of the Decade edition included." Dan said, lost and staring at the VR helmet in his hands.

"Fallout 4? You still play that?"

"Look, Fallout 4 the last original game released by Bethesda in the past 12 years. I don't agree with their business practices, but dammit I love RPG's."

"What about Prey?"

"Fuck Prey. Not enough waifus." Dan said in a somewhat-joking-but-disturbingly-serious tone. "Uh, look, man, it's getting late. I'm going to head to bed and get started using this thing."

"Yeah. Sure man." Mike replied, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Dan headed up the stairs and made his way to his bedroom. The sight was, admittedly, dreary. His unmade bed was surrounded by piles of unfolded clothes. Sky blue paint chipped from the walls, and soft whispers of air came through his old, unsealed window. Reaching into the black mini-fridge beside his bed, Dan pulled out a bottle of cheap whiskey. He took a quick night cap and grimaced, then returned the booze to the refrigerator. He jumped into bed and warmed himself up under the covers. He soon placed the helmet on his head, and quietly drifted to sleep.

Dan's vision went to a pure and opaque black. A blinking green cursor appeared in the upper-left field of his vision, and text soon followed. According to the text, Dan's data from old Fallout 4 saves had been detected. Dan was confused for a moment, but soon remembered he had used the same email account for all six editions of Fallout 4. Considering this email is also the one used for his Amazon account, it wasn't surprising that his data had been sifted through. Dan figured picking "retrieved saved data" was the best option, as otherwise his "Busty Female NPC" Mod would not be loaded into the new game. Without it, there was really no point in playing. After a few minutes of loading, the old data had been uploaded.

[STARTING NEW GAME…] appearing in the upper-left hand corner. Dan couldn't help but find this strange. Considering that the old saves had all been uploaded, he assumed he could just jump into his old game. Dan wasn't bothered, however. He was always up for a new adventure.


	2. Chapter 2: Electric Boogaloo

The black slowly shifted to a bright white. The white soon changed to the image of a door. The door was metal, with an interior padded with yellow fiberglass. At the center of it all was a small window, speckled with bits of white frost. Dan was familiar with this sight. While Dan was enthusiastic to start the game, he couldn't help but wonder why the introduction had been skipped. He had yet to customize his name, character appearance, or S.P.E.C.I.A.L. traits.

"Cryo-pod opening." The cold, mechanical voice echoed from the vault's speakers. The door slowly opened, as Dan could barely contain his excitement. The door leisurely opened, and Dan gradually began to exit the pod amidst clouds of steam. His limbs were stiff and cold. To his surprise, Dan actually felt the pain of spending centuries frozen. He tried to rush towards the pod opposite his, but his rigid body would not allow it. With each step he wanted to collapse. His weak, deteriorated muscles struggled to pull Dan across the chamber.

"Okay," Dan thought, "This is slightly more difficult than I imagined, but I'll be fucked if I don't love full immersion!"

Dan fell to the floor. He spent a moment with his knees and palms glued to the ground; catching his breath and waiting for the fatigue to subside. He took a few long, drawn out breaths, and eventually had the strength to rise to his feet. Once he was standing tall, Dan slowly made his way to the pod opposite his. He wiped away the condensation, and saw the face of a portly bald man.

"This – this is not my wife…" Dan thought as he took in the man's appearance. He glanced around the chamber, and realized something was wrong. His pod should be the last in the row, but he was two away from that position. Dan rushed to the end of his row, and saw an empty pod.

"What the fuck…" Dan thought to himself.

He looked across the row, and saw a pod containing a frozen, agonized woman. The frost on her skin and bullet-hole in her torso confirmed that she was dead. Her hands were stuck in a position that was once used to cradle an infant.

"What the – I'm not Nate?" Dan thought, confused. Why would he not be the protagonist? Or, maybe, this was a new sort of plot. Maybe, after re-hashing the same game since 2015, Bethesda thought that they should spice things up? These thoughts flashed through Dan's head, but he was too excited to get hung-up on such thoughts. He was actually inside of the post-apocalyptic world of Fallout 4! Why should he be worried? This was all just a game, after all.

Dan was about to follow the standard trek through the vault, except that the door to the entrance hall was open.

"This should be locked? Why isn't this locked!" Dan thought.

He decided to explore the alternate path anyway. There would be some stimpacks, as well as a 10mm with some ammo he could really use. He turned left at the threshold for the main hall, and went down the corridor the winded throughout the vault. The first thing Dan noticed were the corpses of radroaches. The first few seemed to be beaten to death, but farther down the line Dan saw their corpses riddled with bullets. Dan slapped his palm against his forehead.

"Oh, fuck me." He groaned. Dan realized that Nate – who apparently is an actual, different individual in this game – would have already escaped Vault 111. He must have cleared the place out and looted everything in sight.

Dan made his way to the Overseer's office, and saw a mounted glass case. The door to the case had been opened, and was stuck slightly ajar.

"Are – are you kidding me?" Dan approached the case. "He took the cryolator? He took the goddamn…"

Dan paused as he caught his reflection in the case. Now he understood why there was no customization screen. His face reflected his exact appearance in the real world. His dark brown hair was parted to the left, his skin was pale and decorated with freckles, his ears were a little too big; hell, he even had the scar on his forehead from that gigantic pimple he had popped in college. Every feature and imperfection was perfectly imprinted on his avatar.

After the wonder of seeing his reflection faded, Dan noticed that there was a small, green pinpoint marker in his left periphery. Following the marker, Dan found himself in the entrance hallway he had previously evaded. The hallway took him to the vault entrance, where an elevated steel walkway littered with the corpses of scientists and radroaches lay before him. The marker led to the skeleton of a former Vault-Tec scientist, who still had a Pimp-Boy 3 Billion wrapped around the bones of his forearm.

"Well, at least I know that my mods got transferred over." Dan thought aloud.

Dan took the golden, diamond-bejeweled Personal Information Processor and enclosed it around his wrist, snapping the latch once it was positioned correctly. Dan activated the Pimp-Boy, and once it had turned on Dan heard a short "wah-wah" guitar riff, not unlike something out of a 1970's porno. Dan stood for a moment and tried to remember whether this came with the Pimp-Boy mod, or if he had installed a Wild Wasteland mod. Either way, fun times lay ahead.

Dan walked across the elevated walkway, and then down a short flight of stairs. In front of him lay a wire-mesh gate, and behind that was a large, gear-shaped platform. The gate slowly opened, and Dan was frozen with delight. Once he crossed that threshold and stepped onto the platform, he would be elevated out of Vault 111. He would ascend into the Wasteland. The Commonwealth.

Once he felt able to move again, Dan rushed onto the platform. Two yellow lights began to flash in the entryway, and a siren started to blare.

"LEAVING VAULT 111. LEAVING VAULT 111."

Dan felt a small jolt in his legs, and saw that the large gear was rising upward. He tilted his neck back and saw the small white light above him draw closer and closer. He bit his lip and shook his arms in delight. The light drew even closer. In just a few seconds, he would be in it for real! Time to play Fallout like never before!

As the elevator reached the surface, there was a brief flash of light. As it faded, Dan saw himself surrounded by darkness. He checked his Pimp-Boy, and saw it was about 1:00 AM.

"Why the fuck was there a light at the end of the…" Dan stopped, as when he looked Southeast towards Sanctuary. A Vertibird was circling the small cul-de-sac, with a floodlight beaming towards the ground.

"The Brotherhood? Oh – oh no. I get…"

"Don't. Move." Dan heard from somewhere to his right. His whole body swiveled towards the call, and he instinctively put his hands up. It was dark, but he could make out the hazy shapes of trees and bushes in front of him.

"Hello? I'm unarmed. Please, I'm not sure what's going on."

One of the bushes rustled, and then a shadowy figured stepped out.

"What is your name?" the figure inquired in a quiet but firm voice.

"I'm Dan Murphy." Dan replied, still a bit shaken.

The figure cautiously moved towards him. After a few steps, it became apparent that she was pointing a handgun at him. A few more steps, and Dan could make out a newsie cap on his scalp. A few more steps, and Dan could see the gun was a .44, and that she wore a red leather coat. By now, Dan knew who it was, but seeing her raven black hair only confirmed it.

"Piper?" he asked with a shaken voice.

By now, Piper was no more than two feet in front of him. Hearing the name caused her to freeze in surprise. First her eyes widened in confusion, followed by one eyebrow raising inquisitively. Without saying a word, she gripped the barrel of her revolver, and swung the handle of her gun into Dan's left temple. Everything went black, save for the green text in the upper-left corner.

[AUTOSAVING…]


	3. Chapter 3

Dan slowly opened his eyes. His vision was blurry, but quickly began to focus. All he could see was an off-white surface with bits or rust and decay scattered across it. He tried to move his arms, but they refused to budge more than a few inches. Dan tilted his head to the side, and saw his wrists bound with rope. He wriggled his legs, and could feel that his ankles were tied up as well. The rope was attached to a metal frame surrounding the white medical bed he was lying on. Dan was surprised to find that his head was throbbing from the pistol-whipping he had taken earlier.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could spot two people sitting on a red couch, and another figure standing beside them. Based on who had knocked him out, Dan went ahead and assumed on of the hazy figures was Piper.

"H – hey, Piper? Do you mind if I ask you…" Dan stopped and grunted in pain. He took a slow breath before continuing. "Can I ask a question?"

"We have some questions for you first." One of the figures replied. His voice was deep and commanding. Dan was fairly certain this was not Piper.

"I'll be happy to oblige, but please, can I just ask Piper a quick question?" Dan asked in a polite tone.

"Fine." Piper replied. She stood up from the couch and walked over towards Dan, eventually standing of him from the left side of the bed and glared at him with piercing eyes.

"So, like, do you have any idea what a concussion is?" Dan asked in a voice dripping with sarcasm. "You see, the brain can sometime get bounced around and collide with your skull. When that happens, an individual can experience brain damage, or even death."

Piper narrowed her eyes. Dan was unsure if she was armed, but if so, there was a very real possibly she would strike him again.

"That is called a concussion, and it is usually caused when one's head experiences blunt trauma. This can happen from falling, being punched, or having some bitch bash your temple with the butt of her fucking magnum!"

Piper closed her eyes and took a deep inhale through her nostrils. She opened her eyes again and stared down at Dan.

"You done?" she asked.

"Yeah." Dan replied in a more collected tone, "Yeah, sorry. I just – I needed that."

"You've already been screened. You don't have a concussion." The third figure butted in. The voice clearly belonged to a women, and it was thick with a vaguely Middle Eastern accent.

"Wait, I know that vaguely Middle Eastern accent." Dan said, "Dr. Amari? Am I in the Memory Den?"

Piper's eyes widened, and she turned around to speak with Dr. Amari and the other man in the room.

"How does he know that? He – I saw him come out of Vault 111 in that jumpsuit, with that Pip Boy!"

"Pimp Boy." Dan corrected her.

"What?" Piper's neck snapped back to Dan, then quickly turned back towards her associates. "Never mind, whatever. He is a vault dweller. I saw him leave the vault. How could he know where he is? How could he know you? Or me? Who is this guy?"

"Dan Murphy. I literally told you that. And then you pistol whipped me, you dick." Dan again butted in again.

"Did – did you just call me a dick?" Piper asked, turning back towards Dan.

"It was kind of a dick move." Dr. Amari added.

"Agreed." the man said.

"I'm a girl!" Piper felt the need to point out. Dan, knowing he wasn't in any real danger, decided to continue chiding the spunky reporter.

"Are you saying girls can't be dicks?" he paused to chuckle to himself, "That's kinda sexist, Piper."

Piper stomped back to the medical bed and gripped the collar of Dan's vault jumpsuit. She shook Dan's head, gritting her teeth in rage and suppressing the urge to scream.

"Who are you!?" She yelled in frustration.

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius," Dan answered in a comically serious tone, "Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true Emperor Marcus Aurelius, father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife – and I will have my vengeance – in this life or the next."

Piper slapped a beaker off of a nearby table. As it shattered on the floor, she buried her hands in her dark hair and screamed. Dan couldn't help but to burst out in laughter. His laughter was short lived, however, as the strain only amplified the pain in his forehead.

"That is enough, Dan." the man's voice boom from across the room.

"Look," Dan said, abandoning his teasing of Piper, "I'll gladly explain myself, but can I please just sit up? You can keep me tied up, but I can't see a damn thing that's going on around me. It's making conversation incredibly difficult."

While Dan couldn't see what was going on, the log silent pause told him that the three were considering his request. Eventually the man walked over to Dan and began untying his wrist. He had dark skin, and wore an old, colonial looking coat. His head was adorned with a wide-brimmed hat.

"Holy shit!" Dan exclaimed, "Preston Garvey! Does another settlement need my help?"

Preston glared at Dan – partially out of confusion, and partially exasperation. "Don't push it, kid."

Preston untied Dan's right hand, and then used the rope to tie his left and right hands together. He untied the ropes on Dan's feet, and then sat Dan up in a position that had his bound hands connected to a short. That rope was tied to the table – right between Dan's legs.

"Thank you." Dan said, actually sounding grateful. "That's actually a lot better."

Dan could see the faces of his three captors. Amari and Preston, while looking serious, had an air of genuine curiosity about them. They were more than willing to hear from Dan. Then there was Piper, who was in fact armed with her revolver, and wore a look upon her face that said "Just give me a fucking reason to shoot you. Please."

Before Dan started talking, he thought for a moment about what to say. He was not the best liar, but telling these people that their whole world is a video game might be a little too depressing for them, assuming that they even believed it. He decided it would be best to tell the truth, just not all of it.

"Okay, so, you guys are not going to believe me." Dan began before Piper interrupted.

"Are you a vault dweller?" she asked behind her gritted teeth.

"Yes and no."

"Oh come on!" she shouted, throwing her arms into the air.

"Piper!" Preston shouted, resulting in a groan from Piper as she folded her arms and sat on the red couch.

"So, look," Dan started again, "I woke up in a cryo-pod in the vault, but I didn't enter the vault. I was placed there. I am an American. I live in Boston – well technically Somerville, but, ugh, semantics. I am from another dimension."

Dan looked up and saw a mixed reaction from his audience. Amari was scratching her chin inquisitively. Preston's eyes squinted suspiciously. Piper just rolled her eyes.

"A different… dimension?" Amari asked.

"Yes. You see, things happened differently in my dimension."

"How so?" Preston asked.

"Ugh, where to I start? Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray, South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio, Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe…"

"The short version, Dan." Preston bluntly interrupted.

"Okay, so a couple big thinks happened. In the 1970's, our President – Richard Nixon – opened up trade relations with Red China. They became our ally and broke ties with the USSR."

"Wow, this Richard Nixon must be a hero in your world." Amari added.

"You'd, uh, you'd be surprised." Dan replied, "Anyway, this was a huge blow to the Soviets. In the 1990's, the USSR fell and communism became a lot less prominent. Global tensions cooled, and there was no global nuclear war. At least not yet. Things have gotten weird since Amazon's corporate takeover of the U.S. Then there was the Second Korean War…"

"What happened there?" Preston asked.

"Oh, that one was a doozy. Long story short is that the south reabsorbed the north, Vancouver got nuked, the Russian president died in a shirtless horse-riding accident, and the whole thing was blamed on Germany so we just let Poland annex them."

"That's fascinating," Amari began, "But it does nothing to explain why you're here."

"I'm getting to that." Dan said, "You see, technology also took a different path for us. You guys focused on nuclear power. You have lasers, fusion, advance robotics, et cetera. We don't have any of that. We chose to focus on computing and electricity." Dan pointed at Amari's personal computer, "That right there? We had computer's like that since the 1970's. We have computers a billion times more powerful than that, and they're the size of a wallet. Almost all of the electricity and power in our world is generated from renewable sources like wind and the sun. We don't rely heavily on nuclear reactors."

Dan paused. He had now reached the part where the truth needed to be stretched.

"We found a way to observe other dimensions. We were able to open windows between worlds. I'm with a group of scientists that wanted to try interacting with these dimensions. We considered sending a team to this world to help you rebuild, but we couldn't manage to find a way back to our home world. I'm not sure what happened – my memory's a little hazy, but there must have been some kind of accident. I just woke up here, in a cryo-pod."

"So that's how you know us!" Amari concluded. "You're story is strange – hard to believe, even – but it does make sense."

"I know what you are going through. And I know why you're hiding in here." Dan said.

Piper stood up from the couch and walk towards the table Dan was sitting on. She leaned forward, putting her face just inches from Dan's.

"Why?" she growled.

"Nate."


	4. Chapter 4

"Who?" Piper asked.

"Uh, Nate? The only other guy who left Vault 111? Well, I guess there's Shaun, but he didn't leave so much as he was kidnapped, and he's also kinda dead so…"

"His story is a bunch of bull." Piper accused as she turned around to walk back to her compatriots. "He doesn't even know his name!"

Dan silently pondered what was going on for a moment, then tried to slap his forehead, realizing his stupidity. His hands were still bound, however, and he just ended up yanking on the rope tied to the medical bed. Nate was the Sole Survivor's default name, and Dan had changed it when he started that game.

"Oh, sorry. My mistake. I, uh, was thinking of somebody else. I know his name's not 'Nate.'"

"How convenient." Piper said.

"The reason you guys are hiding is because the Brotherhood of Steel has taken over the Commonwealth. They couldn't have done that without the help of the vault dweller. A man known as Dicksmash McIroncock." Dan stated matter-of-factly.

"I'm still not sold." Piper stated.

"Yeah no shit." Dan replied candidly.

"Why are we even arguing about this?" Dr. Amari asked, "We're in the memory den. We can just hook Dan up in one of the booths, and one of you two in the other booth. You'll be able to experience his memories and see for yourself."

Dan's eyes widened as he nervously twitched in his seat. If they went through his memories it would confirm his otherworldly origins, but also prove their entire existence is a video game. That, and the fact that he controlled Dicksmash McIroncock and is directly responsible for their current state of affairs. He stuttered a few times, trying to think of something to say. Eventually, something came out.

"You loved him!" he shouted at the three of them.

"What are you talking about? He was a colleague at best." Dr. Amari responded.

"Not you," Dan paused and nodded in the direction of Piper, then Preston. "But they did."

Preston and Piper faced each other, stunned.

"Wait, are you telling me he was another one of Dicksmash's floozies?" Piper asked as she pointed an accusing finger at Preston.

"Don't give me that!" Preston shouted in response. His fists clenched and upper lip twitched in fury. "What we had was special! Just because you had some quick fling doesn't mean he loved you!"

"Slut!" Piper cried.

"Homewrecker!" Preston retaliated.

"Will you both shut up?!" Dan barked. "Can you please stop fighting so we can figure this out – and can somebody fucking untie me now?"

Piper and Preston's angry gazing shifted towards Dan, and the two simultaneously shouted "No!"

Dan was annoyed for a moment before realizing he could get himself out of this mess. He decided to check his Pimp Boy, and his left arm involuntarily started to rise. His wrist phased through the rope, and soon it was inches from his face. As Dan gazed at the screen of his Pimp-Boy, time came to a complete halt. The bickering between Piper and Preston had stopped. Dan figured he could use this time to concoct a plan.

He probably couldn't go right to untying himself. Piper and Preston were looking right at him, and both were armed and could take him out. He could always try talking to them. That's seemed to work fairly well ever since he got here. In fact, it was working a little too well.

"Wait… what even are my S.P.E.C.I.A.L. attributes anyway?" Dan thought. He scrolled over to the stats menu and reviewed that data. Most of his stats were two, save for strength, luck and charisma. Strength was a three, and luck was at five. This pleased Dan. Extra carry weight was always nice, he was a big fan of exploiting "Idiot Savant" at lower levels. Then there was charisma, which was already maxed out at ten.

While this was definitely helpful, Dan was a little confused. He didn't pick these traits, nor did they didn't really reflect his real-life persona. Sure, he considered himself charismatic, but a 10/10 was a little generous. Furthermore he saw himself as intelligent – not exactly a genius – but definitely smarter than 2/10. The 5/10 luck seemed like a stretch as well. Dan was a full-blooded Irish American, and if there's two things the Irish are known for it's bad luck and an ironic sense of humor. Also depression and alcoholism.

Since untying himself wasn't an option and he is apparently very persuasive, Dan decided he would exit the Pimp Boy menu, raise his hands in submission, and explain himself to his three captors. He put his Pimp Boy down and raised his hands up. Since the right hand was still tied, however, he could only raise them to the level of his chest. The arguing had ceased, and in an instant Preston's laser-musket and Piper's revolver were pointed square at his head.

"Guys, please! I don't know how this happened!" Dan lied.

"That's fair." Preston said as he lowered his gun. Amari nodded in agreement, but Piper refused to budge.

"It doesn't matter if he doesn't know how he got free – which I'm not buying, for the record – he still can't be trusted!"

Despite his high charisma, Dan seemed incapable of convincing Piper of anything he said – true or otherwise. Being able to actually see the difficulty of speech checks would have come in really handy right now.

"Piper!" Dan shouted desperately, "Please, just listen! For once, give me a chance! You attacked me – unprovoked – tied me up, and now you're pointing a gun at my fucking head! I am not the bad guy here! I have done nothing to make you distrust me so stop acting like some goddamn moral authority and put your fucking gun down!"

Piper stepped back, and seemed to have been a little shaken by Dan's outburst. She sheepishly looked down and lowered her gun. Apparently emotional outbursts are pretty effective on her. Dan took note of this.

"Thank you." he said patronizingly. "People, look. I'm unarmed. I'm in a skintight jumpsuit and I can't possibly be hiding any weapons. And not to overdo it, but I'm not exactly in peak physical…"

Dan look down and saw a body he was not familiar with. In the real world, he was a little overweight and flabby. The vault jumpsuit clung to this new body, which was rippling with perfectly toned muscle. While Dan had no control over his appearance, he was quite fond of the new body, even if it did nothing to aid in his level three strength.

"Good God you could grind meat on those…" he thought aloud as he stared at his abs, "Okay, back to the point. Maybe I have the body and skin tone of a perfectly sculpted marble statue, but I'm not here to fight. Please, just untie me and tell me what is going on."

"That's not unreasonable." Amari said, "Preston, if you don't mind?"

Preston walked over and untied Dan's right hand. Dan gently rubbed his sore and chafed forearm, then got up off of the table. He immediately collapsed onto the floor, prompting a snorting laugh from Piper, as well as a suppressed chuckle from Preston and Amari.

"Ugh, Christ my legs are like Jell-O. How long was I out?" Dan said while rubbing his half-numb legs."

"I dunno, like twelve…ish hours?" Piper speculated.

"This is why you don't pistol-whip people, Piper!" Dan yelled. "God, okay, so here's what I know. Dicksmash came out of the vault, he threw his chips in with the Brotherhood of Steel, and then he destroyed the Railroad and Institute. That's the gist of what I know. Can you please fill in the gap from then to now?"

Amari responded, "Nobody was able to keep the Brotherhood in check. Dicksmash had done nothing to improve the Minutemen's organization or numbers, and every other faction in the Commonwealth had been wiped out. With their air superiority and access to advanced technology, the Brotherhood has been wiping out all resistance." Amari stopped as Preston added his two cents.

"The Commonwealth is perhaps the most intact part of the country since the bombs fell. Establishing a foothold here will put the Brotherhood in a very advantageous position."

"And the Minutemen?" Dan asked, "Is there anything left of them?"

"We're in the same situation as right after Quincy Massacre." Preston answered, "Only a handful of us, and with the Brotherhood taking Sanctuary we have no base of operations. Goodneighbor has been putting up a respectable resistance, and the Mayor has allowed us to take refuge here."

"Aw Hancock, you crazy libertarian bastard!" Dan cheerfully said. He got back up on his feet and rested his hands on his waist. "Okay, look, my people back in my dimension wanted to try and make contact with you so we could help rebuild. The only way out is if they manage to make contact with me. In the meantime, I see no reason not to help you guys fight back. Why don't we try scheduling a meeting and fleshing out some ideas?"

Preston and Amari voiced their agreement, but Piper remained silent.

"Uh, okay…" Dan scratched the back of his head bashfully, "Amari? Preston? Do you guys want to try getting people together? If it's okay I think Piper and I should talk."

Amari shrugged and Preston nodded, the two made their way upstairs.

"No, wait, are you seriously leaving me with him?" Piper beckoned to them, but they were already on their way outside.

"What can I possibly do to you?" Dan asked, "You have a gun, and I'm unarmed in this jumpsuit. I just want to know why. Why this distrust?"

Piper got up, and started to make her way up the stairs. Dan followed and continued to press her.

"Oh don't just leave! Give me something, I want to be friends."

Piper stopped and turned back towards Dan, and he could see a fire in her eyes. Her grip on the bannister tightened to a point Dan thought she might actually crush the rusty metal beam.

"We. Aren't. Friends." she bluntly stated, "All I know about you is that you came out of Vault 111. The only other two people to leave there are Shaun and Dicksmash McIroncock. Shaun, who led the Institute in terrorizing the Commonwealth and replacing people with synths, and Dicksmash, who broke my heart and betrayed his friends for power. So yeah, I'm suspicious of you, and the fact you keep acting like a jerk to me is not helping your cause."

Piper took a deep breath, and her grip loosened on the bannister. "I don't know. Maybe you're a nice guy, and maybe we can be friends, but you've got a lot of work to do before that. Right now, I can't afford to be trusting."

What's that old saying? You catch more flies with honey than vinegar? Well, that's not true at all. Leave out a plate of honey and another one with balsamic vinegar. See which one the flies pick. Also, get bug spray because your house will be filled with flies. The point is it usually pays to be nice to people.

"Okay, thank you for being honest with me." Dan said calmly. "I get why you're upset, and not trusting me is, admittedly, a smart move. I can respect that. I'll try to be nice, this was just a lot to take in." Dan extended his arm for a handshake.

"Frie – or, uh – associates? Begrudging workplace associates?"

Piper smirked, and firmly shook his hand. "Yeah, I can do that."


	5. Chapter 5

Dan followed Piper as she led him to the Hotel Rexford. The streets were unusually full of people. While Goodneighbor had a respectable population, the town was now bustling with citizens.

"I couldn't help but notice that the town is now bustling with citizens." Dan astutely noted.

"Outcasts." Piper explained, "You're looking at the last stronghold of resistance in the Commonwealth. If anyone has any reason hide from or fight the Brotherhood, they'll up here or they'll end up dead."

"Ah, lovely." Dan responded ironically. The walk to the Rexord was brief, and soon Dan could see the giant neon letters spelling out the hotel's name. Dan took a moment to gaze upon them, a moment that seemed to drag on a little too long. Suddenly, Dan saw something out of the corner of his eye.

[AUTOSAVING…]

The world seemed to go dark, until Dan opened his eyes and saw the familiar sight of his apartment bedroom. The gentle glow of a streetlamp shown through his north facing window, but otherwise the room was covered in darkness. Dan turned to the other side of his bed and reached for an end table. Atop the table was his phone, which he promptly unplugged from a charger and checked the time.

"Ugh, 2:37? Why am I even…" Dan paused, and noticed a sudden and intense pressure in his pelvic region. He threw off his down covers and rushed out of his bedroom. He bolted down the stairs, through the living room and kitchen, and once in the bathroom locked the door behind him. After a moment of sweet relief and washing his hands, Dan made his way back to the bedroom. He bundled himself up in the covers, and fixed the helmet upon his head.

Dan tossed and turned in his bed, but couldn't manage to fall asleep. He felt like a child on Christmas Eve. Well, technically it would be Christmas Day at this point considering it's just past midnight. Dan felt like a child on Christmas Day, but it was too early to wake up his parents. He knew pure joy awaited after he fell asleep, but the excitement made slumber impossible. His thoughts raced, pondering how he might deal with the upcoming meeting. Should he be polite and courteous, or bold and ambitious? How wrong could it go if he takes the wrong approach?

Dan's hands gripped the helmet, and he shook back and forth in his bed, letting out a low grunt of frustration. He was infuriated with his bladder for taking him from such a pleasant dream. Dan soon laid on his back, motionless upon the bed. He took deep breaths, hoping to come up with a solution. As he inhaled through his nose, Dan found some resistance from within his congested sinuses. At that moment he had an idea.

"Benadryl!" he excitedly whispered as he quickly emerged from beneath the covers. For the second time that night Dan made his way to the bathroom, and once inside promptly threw the medicine cabinet door open. After sifting through a few bottles and boxes, until he found that beautiful pink and blue box. He gleefully made his way back upstairs, and once in his bedroom popped a small pink pill out from the container. He gripped the pill tightly in his left hand and he went back under the covers and placed the VR helmet back on his dome. Bringing his right and to his mouth, Dan swallowed the pill.

Dan wasn't sure how quickly he fell asleep, in the same way nobody can ever tell for sure exactly when they drifted off into a dream. All he knew is the next thing he saw was the façade of the Hotel Rexford, and Piper was standing next to him.

"Hey, sorry about that." Dan apologized.

"Sorry? For what?" Piper asked, looking puzzled.

Dan, for not the first nor last time, felt like an idiot. Just like when he played the game on a console or PC, time stops in Fallout once you exit. It reverts to the last save, and time remains paused there until you return. He was still having trouble adjusting to the different rules of a virtual reality.

"Oh, uh…" Dan fumbled with his words until he could come up with a viable explanation, "It's just, um, I still feel bad about everything that happened in the Memory Den." He turned to face Piper, who met his stare. She understandably seemed intrigued by this sudden change in attitude.

"I know I apologized already back there, but seriously, I was being a jerk. I understand why you're not too trusting of me."

"Yeah…" Piper stretched the word with inquiry, as she raised an eyebrow, "You already said, like, all of that back there. You've said all of this already."

"Yeah, but," Dan sighed, "What I'm trying to say is that I… am… sorry?" Heat flooded through Dan's body as soon as he finished the sentence.

He wasn't sure what was happening, but he couldn't think of anything else to say. He could have just told Piper "Oh, nothing." after their initial exchange, and that would have been it. But no, he had to just keep digging himself deeper into the hole of awkward human interaction. Even with a ten in charisma he was flailing like a socially anxious child. Every time he tried to think of something – anything – to say, it just kept recycling back to "Sorry for being such a jerk. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry!" He stood in complete silence for far too long, and could feel his face begin to flush. He had to do something to just make this whole mess end, but his words had failed him. Dan decided to instead silently grimace and shrug in the most intentionally uncomfortable and awkward way possible.

You see, charisma goes beyond words. Charisma lies in tone, actions, body language, and several other things I don't care to list. Dan has been in several awkward situations in his life, and there is only one way out he knew of: to acknowledge it. And so, he committed to a gesture so exaggerated and compromising, that it could at least say "I am a tongue-tied dumbass, please accept this self-depreciating apology." He shrugged in complete helplessness, just hoping for a response. Eventually one appearing in the upper-left hand corner of his vision.

[Piper Liked That]

Piper's eyes bulged out of her skull and her arms wrapped around her gut as she keeled over in uproarious laughter. He guffawing was so hearty that she barely had time to breathe between howls, and her hands left her abdomen to grip Dan's shoulders for support. After what seemed like an eternity for Dan passed, Piper's chuckles slowly grew softer and the several confused onlookers lost interest in the affair.

"Okay, Okay," she let go of Dan and brushed herself off with her hands. After regaining composure, she resumed speaking, "Please, just stop apologizing! I get it now, okay? I definitely get it."

Dan was still standing in rigid silence and embarrassment. It didn't matter to Piper, however, as she continued to speak.

"I'm not sure what exactly I thought of you before, and after that I'm still pretty lost. What the hell was that, Blue?"

Dan was stunned. His eyes were wide, and his body seemed to go stiff as a plank of wood. Eventually, one word escaped his lips.

"Blue?"

"Yeah, Blue. Unless you weren't aware of that jumpsuit you were wearing?"

Again at a loss for words, Dan just sheepishly nodded.

"Hehe, that was…" Piper covered her mouth and suppressed a helpless giggle, "That was, uh, really something. Now, don't go thinking we're friends or anything, but that was definitely a step in the right direction."

She gave Dan a playful punch on the arm, and began to make her way inside. After a few short steps, she turned her head to the side to call out to Dan.

"Why don't you go ahead and strike the 'Begrudging' from Workplace Associates?"


	6. Chapter 6

After coming through the doorway into the Hotel Rexford, Piper pulled Dan towards the lobby off to the left. There were several circular tables clearly meant to seat four persons, but it two had been pushed together to seat the audience of six. Dan's eyesight in the game was slightly better than in reality, and from the distance he could make out the four people sitting around the table. The first and most obvious was Preston, and next two him at the end of the two tables was a ghoul in a red frock coat topped off with a tricorn hat. Dan went ahead and assumed that was Hancock. On the other side of Preston was a made sporting a leather jacket, shades, and jet black hair combed back in a pompadour.

"Zeke? Holy shit, Zeke's here?!" Dan squealed with joy. He rushed over to the table and went to shake Zeke's hand, but the Atom Cat responded with a high five.

"You recognize me, my man?" Zeke said with his usual relaxed swagger.

"Who wouldn't know the coolest cat it the Commonwealth?!" Dan replied as Piper grabbed an open seat at the table. She proceeded to rub her eyes in exasperation.

"Coolest cat in the Commonwealth?" a raspy voice butted in, "You insult me, kid."

"Oh, Hancock, I didn't mean…"

"Hey, hey, no worries. Just take it easy and grab a seat." He motioned the empty chair opposite his at the other end of the tables.

From his seat, Dan saw an unfamiliar individual next to Hancock and opposite Preston. He had a black handlebar mustache atop his grimacing mouth, and a matching Mohawk atop his head. He had some sort of brown makeup covering his forehead. His body was adorned with a mishmash of metal and leather armor. Dan wanted to ask who this man was, but was honestly afraid of speaking to him.

"So, now that's the gang's all here," Hancock started, "Let's get over introductions for our new friend here. Name's Hancock, Mayor of Goodneighbor and the reason we're all not dead. Now you've already gotten acquainted with Preston and lovely little Piper…"

Piper shot a gaze at Hancock that was probably meant to intimidate, but did nothing to the ghoul besides make him grin. He then continued with introductions.

"And apparently you already know about our friend Zeke here. Somehow."

"Hey, man," Zeke interrupted, "Anybody that knows cool knows the Atom Cats. Far as I can tell, Jack here seems legit."

Dan didn't want to correct Zeke, but Piper insisted on it.

"It's Dan." she corrected.

"Whatever, Jack." Zeke replied, "All I'm saying is we give the new guy here a chance."

Dan was pleasantly surprised. It didn't take very much to get on Zeke's good side.

"Well, that just leaves you." Hancock said, turning towards the Mohawk-sporting individual.

The man picked at his teeth and flicked a bit of plaque in Preston's direction. The Minutemen leader clenched his fists, but managed to stay composed. The man turned and looked at down, scanning him top to bottom.

"I don't talk to greenhorns." he growled, getting up from his chair. "You cover me on this one, Hancock. I've got shit to do. Can't really afford to waste my time with some piss-ant in tights."

The man turned his back to the group, and calmly strolled out of the hotel. Hancock leaned back in his chair for a moment and stared at the ceiling.

"Well, anyway, that piece of mole rat shit is Wes. Gunner Captain and Leader, and head of Resistance military excursions."

"Gunners? We're trusting Gunners?" Dan asked, appalled but intrigued.

Hancock shrugged, then proceeded to explain: "Yeah, I know, I know. Look, I hate the fuckers as much as newsie over there hates anything fun." he pointed an accusing finger at Piper, "But they were getting beat back pretty badly by the Brotherhood. They came here on their knees with a shitload of guns, explosives, and armor. How could I turn that kind of offer down?"

"What if Dicksmash makes them an offer?" Dan asked, growing concerned, "They'd sell you out in a heartbeat!"

"Look, Wes is an asshole – just like any Gunner – but he ain't an idiot. That's what separates the Gunners from your run-of-the-mill raider. The Brotherhood sent a scout to them with an offer as soon as they found out they set up shop in Goodneighbor. Now his head's on a pike outside the front gate."

"And what about if – best case scenario – we beat the Brotherhood?" Dank asked, "What will they do then? What will we do then?"

"Yeah, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it." Hancock responded, surprisingly blasé.

Dan rubber his eyes in thought. "Hey, Zeke? What do you think of a meeting tomorrow? Maybe in the afternoon?"

"Sure thing, Jack." Zeke replied, pointing a pair of finger guns at Dan, "You calling it quits for the night?"

"No, I just need to talk to these guys about, uh, personal matters."

Zeke raised his hands and pushed his chair away from the table. "Woah-ho-ho, say no more, Jack. I hear ya loud and clear." He got up from his seat and strutted out of the Hotel."

"Hancock, we're gonna need booze." Dan said, turning to look at the mayor, "I'm assuming you can help us out?"

"Oh yeah. What're you drinking?" Hancock said, rubbing his hands enthusiastically.

"Keep it strong. I'm talking vodka, rum, whiskey, and bourbon. Especially whiskey and bourbon." Something flashed in the corner of Dan's eye:

[Hancock Liked That]

"Allow me to step out for a moment," Hancock said in a gleeful tone, "I just need to make a quick stop by the bar."

As Hancock made his way out, Piper spoke up: "Uh, Blue? Mind telling me what exactly is going on?"

"So, I know this is probably an uncomfortable thing for you guys to talk about." Dan started, "Actually, I know it is. But, we have to go over this. See, as horrible of a person he is, Dicksmash McIroncock is incredibly skilled and incredibly dangerous."

"Dan, we are all painfully aware of that." Preston interrupted as Hancock returned with one armful of bottles, and another of tumblers. Hancock check the label on a few, and then slid a dark brown bottle over to Dan, followed by a tumbler. He raised it to Hancock in thanks, and then resumed speaking:

"You see, Dicksmash has this ability to persuade people. To influence them to such an extent they do not know that they are being controlled. I'm concerned about you three because of your past relationships with him. I'm afraid that when the chips are down, he could convince you to jump back on his side."

Dan had remembered something when he saw his traits; Dicksmash was his character, and he had completed every quest and found every unlockable in the game – and then some. Dicksmash's S.P.E.C.I.A.L. traits had all been maxed to ten, and then bumped to eleven by Bobbleheads. With how easily Dan could persuade others, it was horrifying to imagine what Dicksmash would do with such power.

Nobody seemed to rebuke the accusation. Preston and Piper looked down abashedly and twiddled their thumbs, while Hancock poured himself a glass of vodka and chuckled.

"Yeah, kid, I burned that bridge when I lodged some lead in his thigh two months back. Once I found out his plans with the Brotherhood of Steel, we were officially done."

"So this all started two months ago?" Dan inquired.

"About." Piper quietly replied.

"Well, here's the plan." Dan resumed, "You guys ever head the phrase 'in vino veritas?'"

The trio looked at each other curiously, and then all either shook their heads or shrugged.

"Well," Dan said, pouring his own glass of bourbon, "It basically means that the best way to get the truth out of people is to get them piss-drunk. So, like any good friend does after a rough breakup, I am going to get all of us hammered as you all talk shit about your ex."

[Hancock Liked That]

[Piper Liked That]

Piper poured herself a glass of whiskey, and Hancock was already starting on his second. Preston was reluctant to start drinking, and so Piper grabbed a second tumbler and poured one for him. He took a small sip and grimaced as Piper downed the contents of her glass. Dan, meanwhile, swirled the amber liquid of his glass. His was a little concerned to drink bourbon that was so generic. Only brand in the Commonwealth. Would it taste like Woodford Reserve, or more like Ten High? Ultimately it didn't matter, and so Dan reluctantly slurped the glass down. It tasted surprisingly good – not the best he had ever had – but definitely something he could drink a lot of. That was good, as it looked like he had some catching up to do with his colleagues.

Tonight is going to get weird.


	7. Chapter 7

"Ayo, Hancock!" Dan shouted from the end of the table, "Uh, you got addictol, right?"

"You kiddin'?" Hancock rhetorically asked as he filled another glass of vodka, "I got a whole drawer of the stuff at my desk!"

"Oh thank God." Dan replied. He had forgotten how few drinks it takes to become addicted in Fallout. He was only on his fourth – and was feeling a pleasant buzz – but had seen the flash of [You've become addicted to alcohol!] after glass number two.

Hancock seemed completed unaffected by the liquor. The man was already lacking any inhibitions, and he was fairly laid back as it is. Truthfully, Dan had no idea how he could tell when Hancock was truly intoxicated. To be fair, however, the ghoul had started the Resistance from within his city walls, and apparently put a bullet into Dicksmash as soon as all of the shit started going down. While he would remain on guard, Dan felt confident that Hancock was beyond Dicksmash's charismatic grasp.

Preston, however, was beginning to raise concern in Dan. He was very hesitant to drink, and only did so when encouraged by the other three. Now, some people may choose not to drink – and there is nothing wrong with that. But, as far as Dan knew, Preston was not a follower of Joseph Smith or Muhammad, so he remained wary. What was more suspicious, however, was Preston's silence. Hancock, Piper, and even Dan were laughing and conversing as you would expect a trio of drunks to do, but Preston sat awkwardly in the corner, his mouth sealed tighter than Fort Knox.

Then there was Piper. Now, if you've ever been to a college party, there's a good chance at least one girl is crying in the corner of the room by 1:00 AM. Piper was not that girl. Piper was more like the star quarterback that starts crushing PBR's on her skull and threatening to fight anyone that looks at her the wrong way. It didn't take too long for Dan to get a good idea of exactly what she thought about Dicksmash:

"I couldn't believe that – that psycho! I try to be nice, I says – I – I tells him I wanna do an interview when I meeted him. I was trying to be nice, ya know? He starts going on about hope and stuff, and I thought he seemed kinda sweet, so I tagged along with him." Piper paused to empty the contents of her glass, and then pour a quick refill, "You wanna know the first thing – the first damn thing he does when we head out? Goes to Santuary and pumps Mama Murphy full of chems – I'm talkin' psycho, jet, psychojet, whatever – just to get some B.S. séance about his kid! He killed the poor old lady!"

Dan swirled his bourbon for a moment, pretending to be in deep thought, and then took a deep sip, "Jesus," he said, successfully feigning shock, "He just killed her?"

"Doesn't surprise me," Hancock butted in, "Guy's a goddamn snake."

"And how!" Piper exclaimed before downing another shot. Hancock raised a glass to her in approval, than finished his drink as well. He left the empty glass on the table, and then focused his gaze on Dan:

"That guy has a way with people, you're right about that, Dan. Little fucker told me anything I wanted to hear: how he supported freedom, a rule of the people, and protection of the innocent and punishment of the tyrannical. All bullshit. He knows what makes you tick, and he knows just how to butter you up. Before you know it, you're waking up next to that sociopath."

"Couldn't have… hic!" Dan stopped and covered his mouth in utter embarrassment. Apparently the bourbon was having more of an effect on him than he had expected. Hancock grinned, and Piper covered her blushing cheeks to hide her giggling. Dan took some time to hold his breath, and hopefully suppress the hiccups. After a moment, they seemed to have subsided, and Dan resumed speaking:

"I couldn't have said it better myself, Hancock." he paused again, just to be sure they wouldn't return. During his pause, Dan took another look at Preston. The man had been deathly silent. He still wasn't drinking, instead just staring down into his full glass. His glossy eyes and pouty lips – combined with his downward glancing – made him look like a puppy that just got caught chewing up the couch. Maybe it was just the liquid courage doing its work, but Dan was pretty confident that Preston was hiding his true feelings for Dicksmash. Possibly something worse.

By this point, Dan was comfortably drunk. He wasn't entirely belligerent or on the verge of blacking out, but all the signs of drunkenness were there. The uninhibitedness, the confidence, the warmth in his cheeks, and the sudden desire to order Chinese food all showed that the bourbon had taken effect. Now, we all have our little ticks when we get intoxicated. Some people become flirty, others slur their words, and some others – such as Dan – suddenly feel the need to start acting like a snooty intellectual.

While Dan was actually somewhat intelligent – and had a pretty spectacular memory – he always felt inferior when compared to his peers from his former workplace and school. This all came to head when he was drunk, and he would often quote from his favorite films, songs, plays, and so on, to appear clever and cultured. While this comes off as desperately elitist and supercilious in the real world, it could actually achieve the desired effect in a world where such works of art never existed. This fact did not escape Dan. And so, much like a fanfiction author fresh out of original ideas, he decided to "borrow" a little dialogue from his favorite film.

He got up from his chair at the end of the table and took a seat across from Preston. He saw a pack of cigarettes and a gold-plated lighter on the center of the table. While not a pipe, they would be suitable for this scene. He grabbed a cigarette, lit it, and took a short inhale. He had a habit of drunk-smoking in the real world, so this was nothing new to him. After the quick huff, Dan held the little white stick between his right index and middle fingers, leaving his mouth free to speak.

"Preston, I must confess myself a bit concerned. Now, Piper and Hancock have more than proven their disdain for Dicksmash, but I have yet to hear a peep from you." He paused to take another puff from his cigarette, surprised that he was managing to speak so articulately, "Now, I'll need to be sure you are in the same camp as them before I can officially cross your name off of my list. If your allegiance should come into question – and rest assured it will – that is, unless, you have something to tell me that should make this interrogation unnecessary."

"W – Why does suddenly he have a funny accent?" Piper whispered to Preston.

"Shh!" Hancock hushed Piper, leaning in to listen to the questioning, "This is so intense and original!"

Dan took a moment to let his piercing gaze affect Preston, whose eyes were meeting his. They were wide with a guilt, and his body was frozen in fear. Dan knew that his methods were working. Preston's silence would soon be broken.

"I might add, also, that any information that makes the performing of my job easier will not be met with punishment. Quite the contrary, in fact, it will be met with reward. And that reward will be maintaining your position within the Resistance and any private information you provide going nowhere outside of this room."

He paused again, and took another inhale from his cigarette. He used this time to observe Preston, whose eyes appeared glassed as sweat started to drip down in face. Dan's eyes remained fixed on Preston's, and his formerly polite smile disappeared.

"You're in love with Dicksmash McIroncock, are you not?" Dan accused.

"…Yes." Preston whispered.

"Has this caused you to betray or otherwise hinder any operations of the Resistance?"

"No." Preston responded. His glossy eyes began to overflow as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

"Have you made any attempts to reconnect or reconcile with him in the past two months?"

"No." Preston closed his eyes as the tears continued to fall.

"Is there a serious risk of this is the future?" Dan further pressed.

"I – I don't know."

The room fell eerily quiet. Hancock was in shock, Preston was trying to compose himself, Dan was in silent thought, and Piper was on the verge of falling asleep.

"Hancock," Dan said, breaking the silence and cutting his Austrian accent, "I don't think he'll betray us, but his feelings are going to be an issue. What should we do?"

Hancock looked at Preston, then shifted his gaze back to Dan, "I think I'm a little less trusting than you are. We can't risk him ever running into Dicksmash. A word from that guy and Preston would sell us all out in a heartbeat!"

Preston did not object, but simply wiped his watery eyes with the sleeve of his long coat. Piper, meanwhile, had fallen asleep in her chair and was quietly snoring. The sight of her had reminded Dan of just how tired he was.

"I agree, but we can always make sure he never comes into contact with Dicksmash." Dan suggested, "Why don't we let him keep his position within the Minutemen and the Resistance, but he can only operate from within the walls of Goodneighbor. If Dicksmash or the Brotherhood should ever come here, then we get him the fuck out."

"Well, that could be diff…" Hancock suddenly stopped speaking. In facts, the entire world seemed to freeze around Dan. Then, suddenly, that green text flashed in the corner of his vision:

[Autosaving…]


	8. Chapter 8

Now here's something I'm sure you've never experienced: going from drunk to stone-cold sober in an instant. One could argue blacking out is like this, but when you black out you generally wake up hungover next to your sister's best friend. No, not the hot one. The other one.

Dan had suddenly felt it all go away. The haze and bluster of intoxication vanished, and he awoke well rested in his familiar bed. When he removed the helmet, a few dim, orange rays of sunshine danced across his bedroom. It was summer, so the sun rose early, but it was not fully up yet. He sat up and grabbed his phone from the bedside table: 5:02 AM. Dan had always liked the fact that he didn't sleep much, but when you can enjoy your favorite video game while you slumber, this can become a little infuriating. But he was awake, and he knew he would not be asleep again until tonight.

Dan headed downstairs and into the kitchen. He put some water into a kettle and set it on the stove. While the water heated, he took some time to use the restroom, and then - once in the kitchen - added six level tablespoons of ground coffee into his French press. While he did so, Dan couldn't help but wonder why it was called a French press. It was invented in Italy. What idiot named this thing?

Dan's thoughts were cut short as he heard the water come to a boil. He filled the French press, gave the content a quick stir, affixed the plunger to the top, and set a four minute timer. He made his way into the living room and sat on the couch, rubbing his eyes. He felt strange to say the least. To just hop from one reality to another – and go from drunk to sober in the process – was a bit jarring. He figured some caffeine would help to perk him up. He cleared his head, and then opened up his laptop to review his emails – nothing exciting.

Before long the timer went off, and he poured himself a cup of coffee, then continued to add two packets of sweetener along with a splash of cream. Dan was one of those people who preferred to actually enjoy his coffee, instead of drinking a black cup of bitter sadness just to look tough. He took a sip, and immediately felt uplifted.

He spent some time perusing the infinite wonders of the internet before his roommate woke up and headed down the stairs. His roommate waved hello to Dan while yawning, then headed into the bathroom. On his way out, Mike spoke with Dan.

"You coming to Ken's tonight?"

"Shit, that's tonight?" Dan responded, closing his laptop.

"Yeah, man. Ken told us 'Barbecue on Friday.'" Mike said, raising an eyebrow inquisitively. Dan shrugged with indifference, and Mike began to speak again:

"Dude, you need a fucking job. You don't even know what day it is."

Dan brushed off the insult, "Well, I don't know if I can make it tonight. I got up pretty early, and I'll probably be konking out pretty early too."

"There's gonna be brisket." Mike said in a melodic tone.

Dan paused and pondered this for a moment. "Brisket, you say?" he paused again, "Fine, but only because you twisted my arm. We get to his place at 7:00, right?"

"Yeah," Mike reaffirmed, "There's gonna be some traffic so it'll probably take 45 minutes to get to Norwood. Maybe an hour."

Dan gave a thumbs up to acknowledge the statement, and then Mike headed back to the bathroom to shower and shave. Dan was busy thinking on the couch. A party at Ken's meant a lot of drinking – and probably toking – and that meant he wasn't driving home. He could bring the helmet there for a sleepover, but that'd be… weird. He originally planned to spend today job hunting since he'd put it off for the past eight weeks, but, if he could manage to fall asleep, he could get some quality Fallout time in.

Mike emerged from the bathroom, clean-shaven and already dressed in a yellow shirt with light-gray khakis. He waved to Dan again, then walked out to the landing to put on his shoes, grab his bag, and head off to work. Dan briskly walked to the bathroom and searched through the medicine cabinet, until he eventually found it: a half-full bottle of Nyquil. He snagged the bottle and read the instructions on the back.

"30mL every six hours…" Dan thought. He pulled out his phone to do some quick math, since only drug dealers and commies deal in the metric system. 30mL was about one fluid ounce. Since a normal night's sleep is nine hours, and a shot is 1.5 ounces, Dan rationalized that this was an acceptable amount to drink. He filled the plastic cap and took a shot, then filled it halfway for another. He then made his way upstairs to retrieve the VR helmet, and then headed back to the living room. He placed the helmet on his head and lounged upon the couch, awaiting sweet, sweet slumber.

Nothing happened for a quite a few minutes. Dan just tossed and turned hoping sleep would come, but nothing came. He decided to grab his comforter and pillow from upstairs. Perhaps he was just uncomfortable on the couch. He felt a little drowsy, but not quite sleepy. His patience weening, Dan headed back to his bedroom, and found the box of Benadryl from the previous night.

"This is probably safe." Dan thought aloud as he popped a little pink pill into his mouth. He headed back to the couch and put the helmet back on his head. As he quickly fell asleep, Dan couldn't help but feel the Nyquil may have been unnecessary.


	9. Chapter 9

"…icult. We gonna keep him on house arrest? In prison? How should we go about this if he can't leave but keeps his position?" Hancock said.

Dan felt woozy. He went from being drunk and exhausted to sober and awake, and then back to drunk and exhausted. He raised his hand to Hancock, indicating that he needed a moment. He rubbed his right temple and let out a small belch, covering his mouth with his left hand as he did so. Thankfully he was only awake for a couple of hours, and so he quickly recollected what the current situation was.

"Wait…" he said in a gravelly, tired voice, "What exactly is Preston's position?"

"Leader of the Minutemen." Preston quietly added in a voice racked with guilt and shame.

"All five of them?" Dan asked, tilting his head curiously in Preston's direction.

"It's, um, four, actually." Preston softly replied.

"Four? What hap… oh, right. Mama Murphy. Because of the, uh, drugs… and stuff." Dan mumbled, "No offense, Preston, but that doesn't seem like a difficult job." Dan turned back to Hancock, "We could always have someone serve as acting leader of the Minutemen for the time being. Preston will stay in Goodneighbor, either under house arrest or accompanied by guards or whatever works for you, and somebody can take over for him until we take care of Dicksmash."

"That's a lot easier. I can think we could manage…" Hancock stopped, as he was cut off by Preston.

"You promised that I would maintain my position!" Preston raised his voice and slammed his fist on the table in defiance.

"Preston, Preston! Dan backed away from the table and raised his hands, "You are not losing your position! We just need you out of sight as long as Dicksmash is at large. Once he's gone – not even the whole Brotherhood, just him – you will return to your position as leader of the Minutemen."

"We had a deal!" Preston snapped back.

"I've altered the deal. Pray I do not alter it further." Dan replied in a dark tone as he pondered how awesome that must sound in a universe without _The Empire Strikes Back_. The line actually seemed to be enough to quiet Preston.

"So then who do we put in charge of the Minutemen?" Hancock inquired.

"I mean, I wouldn't be against filling in for Preston." Dan added.

"Look, kid," Hancock replied, "I like you. I knew you for five minutes and you tell me to break out the pure. You're my kinda guy. But I can't just put you in charge of the Minutemen. You don't have enough clout here yet. Hell, you never even met anyone in the Minutemen!"

"Well…" Dan paused and looked around. Piper suddenly caught his eye, her head tilted back and she gently snored in her chair. "What about Piper?"

"Huh? What? I'm here!" Piper shouted as she suddenly awoke. She flailed her arms upon awakening, losing balance and accidentally tumbling from her seat. She then fell back asleep, her face pressed on the floor and limbs spread out in all directions. Dan and Hancock both chortled after the display, and Preston remained silent while looking down in disgrace.

"You know what? I like it!" Hancock answered at last, "Kid's got spunk, and she's always been all about helping those types. You know, uh, what's the word… downtrodden! I'd congratulate her on the promotion, but I think it can wait until tomorrow. Alright, boys, I'll see you all at 2:00! Preston, you're gonna have to come back with me. And you, kid?"

By now Hancock was standing, and so Dan raised his head to meet his eyes: "What's up?"

"Piper's in room 208. Something tells me she'll need some help getting up there."

"Wait, does this hotel use American or European numbering?" Dan asked.

"What the fuck does that even mean?" Hancock asked back.

"Ugh, okay, what room numbers are on this floor?" Dan asked, pointing to the ground.

"There's none. There's only rooms on the second floor." Hancock replied.

"Oh, uh… okay then." Dan sheepishly replied, "I'll get on that then."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do, kid." Hancock added as he made his way out with Preston. Dan couldn't help but think about how terrible that advice is coming from Hancock.

"Uh, where do I sleep, exactly?" Dan asked, yawning shortly thereafter.

"Hm…" Hancock answered, turning back around, "Ain't any free rooms in the hotel… meh, we can figure it out tomorrow. You can crash on her floor tonight."

Well, that's incredibly contrived.

The left side of Dan's vision suddenly filled with a green animation of the Vault Boy giving the middle finger to a man in a suit of T-60 power armor, who then stormed away in fury. Underneath, there was text that read " **Vive la Résistance!** Successfully joined the ranks of the Resistance in Goodneighbor." He then saw his XP bay go up by 212, giving him enough to reach level two. He quickly opened his perk-tree in order to gain the "Idiot Savant" perk, and then walked over to Piper. Considering his low strength, he wasn't entirely confident he could carry her. He got to his knees and gently shook her by the shoulder.

"Hey, Piper? Piper?" She half-opened her eyes and groaned. Dan has been in situations similar to this on several occasions, and he was all too familiar with how to handle them. He wrapped her right arm around his shoulder, and put his left arm around her waist. He slowly lifted her to her feet, and made his way to the stairs. Carrying Piper was surprisingly easy, much easier than it would have been in the real world. She occasionally took a few steps to make things easier, but largely just dragged her feet along the way. Once on the second floor, Dan headed down a hallway and checked each door his passed.

"202… 204… 206… okay, here we are." Dan said, extending his right hand to open the door. He jiggled the brass nob, but to no avail. Soon, text appeared in front of him:

"Unlock [Novice]"

"Uh, Piper? Any chance you have the key to your room?"

Piper groaned again, sounding almost annoyed. She fiddled through her left coat pocket, and then haphazardly dropped a handful of lockpicks on the floor.

"Oh gee, thanks." Dan sarcastically remarked. He picked up the lockpicks – totaling five – and then gently laid Piper back on the floor. He went to pick the lock, and time froze completely around him as a close-up image of the lock filled his vision. After a little fiddling and one broken pick, Dan had successfully opened the door.

"Mmm…" Piper sensually sighed. Taken aback by the sound, Dan's head snapped to look at Piper who was lying on her side and biting her lower lip.

[Piper Liked That]

"Are you… pff, haha! Really?" Dan asked, unable to resist giggling at what had just happened.

Dan twisted the knob and opened the door. He picked Piper back up, and made his way into the room. It was dimly lit by an old bulb hanging from the ceiling, and Dan saw a queen size bed as well as a dirty couch against the wall opposite him. That would definitely do better than the floor.

Dan laid Piper on top of the bed, who by this point was already fast asleep. He made his way to the couch, and when he looked down at it more text appeared:

"Couch [Sleep]"

He laid down on the couch, and new text appeared:

"Sleep _ Hours [1:01 AM]"

"Eight." Dan mumbled. The blank spot was replaced with an eight, and rather than rest, he saw the eight slowly go down to seven, then six, and so on. As it approached morning, a little more light shown through the window above him with each hour. When the timer hit 9:01 AM, the sleep related text vanished, and was replaced with the all too familiar notification:

[Autosaving…]

Dan awoke to a vision of the Vault Boy arising from a bed in his pajamas, clearly well-rested, and was notified that he now had the well-rested bonus. He stretched his arms and yawned, actually feeling like he had just gotten a full night's sleep. Unfortunately, the dull headache and dry mouth reminded him of what had happened the night before. He turned towards the queen bed, and saw it was empty. He spent a moment wondering what happened to Piper, but the nearby sound of retching answered his question.

As Dan headed towards the bathroom, he saw two inhalers by the front door, sitting on top of a note. He grabbed the inhalers and read the note:

"Something tells me you two will need these – J. Hancock"

"Aw, how sweet." Dan thought. He tried to bring one inhaler to his mouth, but had some trouble. He noticed his hands were violently trembling. He had forgotten that, technically, he did become an addict last night. He took a deep breath and compose himself, and then put the mouth of the inhaler between his lips. Assuming this worked like a normal inhaler, he took a long, deep inhale, and then held his breath for ten seconds. As soon as the ten seconds were up, all of the symptoms were gone: the headache, the cotton-mouth, the trembling – he felt completely revitalized.

His head now clear, Dan briskly walked to the bathroom, and he could hear that Piper's heaving had not slowed. The door was only slightly ajar, so he felt he should still knock before barging in.

"Piper?" he softly asked, continuing to knock, "Piper, I've got something for you."

Piper responded with the continued sound of vomiting. Dan interpreted this as meaning "Yeah, sure, come right on in. Make yourself at home!" So, at Piper's behest, he entered the restroom.

"Piper, I've got some addictol." Dan explained, kneeling beside her, "Do you think you would be able to, uh… stop… puking long enough to take it?"

Piper again retched into the toilet. Dan could tell by the lack of splashing that the contents of her stomach had been completely evacuated. By this point she was just dry heaving. She took a few deep breaths – her head still just above the toilet bowl – and spoke.

"Y – Yeah, just do it quickly, I think…" she stopped as another involuntary spasm of heaving overcame her. She spent a few seconds gagging before she was able to breathe again. Not wanting to waste time, Dan thrust the inhaler in front of Piper's face, and she slowly put it between her lips.

"Breathe." Dan instructed. As Piper began to inhale, Dan pressed down on the inhaler and heard this hiss of addictol being released into her lungs. He removed the inhaler and continued to instruct Piper:

"Hold your breath for ten seconds." He wasn't entirely sure if this was necessary, but didn't want to take the chance. She listened, and after the time had passed let out a long breath. She flushed the toilet, and then leaned back against the bathroom wall.

"Th – Thanks." she paused again, breathing heavily, "I feel… a lot better." Piper turned and smiled at Dan, showing her appreciation. This would've been cute had it not been for the bits of upchucked foodstuff still in her teeth. Dan resisted the urge to grimace and smiled back.

"So, I figured I should probably congratulate you." Dan said. Piper squinted at Dan inquisitively, and he continued to explain, "You, uh, kind of got promoted last night. With Preston compromised, you were kind of made leader of the Minutemen."


	10. Chapter 10

"What?!" Piper exclaimed. And asked. Asklaimed.

"Well so, Preston is still in love with Dicksmash…" Dan explained.

"What?!" Piper asklaimed. Apparently she was too drunk to remember that part of the conversation.

"Ugh, okay…" Dan started, "So, to summarize, Preston is still in love with Dicksmash and potentially a threat to the Resistance. So, until Dicksmash is dealt with, he will remain in Sanctuary. You will by the acting leader of the Minutemen until that threat is dealt with."

"Preston…" Piper paused to rub her forehead disapprovingly, "I mean, I always knew the guy was a softie, but how can he still love him? After everything he's done?"

Dan shrugged, "Love acts in mysterious ways."

"Yeah, apparently." Piper retorted.

Dan brought Piper back to the hotel lobby. While sober and cured of her hangover, she was still a little jarred after blacking out the night before.

"Well," Dan said, "We've got a lot of time before our meeting. Any recommendations?"

"Maybe tell the Minutemen Preston is under house arrest and then explain that I'm in charge now?" Piper suggested.

"Yeah, that probably needs to get done. Mind if I tag along?" Dan asked, "I'm kind of not sure what else to do for the next four-and-a-half hours."

"Yeah, actually," Piper replied, beginning to walk forward as Dan followed suit, "I kind of wanted to talk to you. I just wanted a quick recap of last night since I, well, sort of…"

"Got black out drunk?" Dan finished for her.

"Yeah…" Piper scratched the back of her head bashfully, "I mean, I can assume why I woke up to you on my couch, but how did I get, uh, promoted?"

"So, after a while I wore Preston down." Dan began, "He admitted his feelings for Dicksmash, and while he hasn't done anything to compromise the Resistance yet, the risk is still there. I didn't think he deserved to be punished, but we couldn't risk him running into Dicksmash, so I suggested we get a temporary acting leader of the Minutemen until Dicksmash is taken care of."

"Yeah, I've been meaning to ask about that." Piper turned down an alley and stopped at its end, next to a dumpster.

"Why are we stopping?" Dan asked.

"I think we're gonna need more time than a short walk to hammer all of this out." Piper explained, "So, why is this such a big deal? Sure he has feelings for Dicksmash, but is that a reason to strip him of power? It's never caused him to betray us before."

"Piper," Dan butted in, "Remember how angry you were when we were in the Memory Den? Preston and Amari immediately bought my entire story, and you couldn't understand why."

Piper nodded, showing she remembered quite well.

"I don't know why," Dan lied, "…but it's an ability I have. I can easily convince people to listen to me provided they don't totally hate or distrust me. That's why it wasn't working on you. Dicksmash has that same ability, but even stronger. If Preston has any sentimentality left for him, Dicksmash can effortlessly convince him to betray us. You and Hancock despise Dicksmash, so you're immune to this."

"That's concerning…" Piper replied.

"I know, that's why we had to keep Preston here, or else he…" Dan stopped as Piper interrupted him.

"No, I'm concerned because unless I actively hate you, you could potentially mind control me?"

"Piper, you stopped hating me for a reason. Since I've gotten here I've carried your drunk body back to your room, weeded out a potential threat to the Resistance, and gotten you promoted!"

"Wait…" Piper paused, seeming taken aback, "That was you?"

"Did – did I not mention that?" Dan looked up and scratched his chin in thought, "Um, yeah, sort of. Hancock said I didn't have enough of a reputation to do it, so I thought you'd be a good choice."

Piper's jaw clenched and her fists tightened, "Arg! I don't know if I should slap you or hug you! I don't know if I'm ready for this! You just met me and you assumed I was ready to lead the Minutemen?"

"Piper, it's four people." Dan bluntly stated, "I think you can handle it."

Piper took a few breaths to calm down, "Okay, fine. Fair point. But what about you? I can't forget that you still have your weird, crazy, mind control… thing! What am I supposed to do? I will not get used again. Not after Dicksmash. I – I don't know how I could ever trust you, but I… um, don't… want to hate you…"

Dan took a step back, and his face slightly blushed. Once Piper saw this, her face turned a similar red. Despite being able to get his way through supernatural charm, he had no such power when it came to nonverbal cues. In fact, this wasn't the first time Piper had responded to Dan's actions – there was his awkward fumbling just before the meeting at the Rex Hotel. Dan wishes something more akin to that was happening right now.

"I'm sorry, but, what can I do?" Dan asked, "I can't control this, Piper, and I don't want you to feel that way about me. Is there any way I could get you to trust me? Just tell me."

The two stood around in awkward silence for a few moments. Piper looked down at her feet, and after a short time spent contemplating, opened her mouth:

"I want you to come with me to the Memory Den."

Dan's eyes widened as he froze with terror. He felt like an idiot for not thinking of the most obvious thing he could do to gain Piper's trust, but it was too late to fix that. His thoughts raced with possible ideas on how to get out of this situation. Unable to come up with a viable solution, he tried stalling.

"H – How, exactly, does the Memory Den work?" Dan stuttered.

"You'll get hooked up in an uploading booth and I'll be in the receiving booth." Piper explained, "We don't have a lot of time, but it'll give me some quick snapshots of your life leading up to when you got here. I need to know that you were telling the truth."

"Snapshots?" Dan thought. Well, that could work. What were the chances Piper saw enough of him playing Fallout to put two and two together? Sure, he lied about being a scientist and having windows to other dimensions, but that much he could get away with. He led a relatively uneventful life. The most incriminating thing she'd probably see was his leeching off of unemployment checks, if she could even comprehend that.

"Okay." Dan quietly answered, "Okay, I'll do it."

The two walked silently back to the Memory Den and made their way downstairs. Dr. Amari was there, and thankfully there were no other clients.

"Doctor," Piper started, "Dan and I just had a chat. He agreed to let us scan his memories."

"Really? I don't see any reason to distrust him," Dr. Amari said as Piper shot Dan an accusing glance, "But, if he insists, very well. Dan, enter the booth to my left. Piper, to the right. It'll take me a minute or two to get the transfer started."

The two entered their respective lounge chairs and Amari spent a minute fiddling with some wires and a computer. Before too long, the glass cases closed, and a television with a frozen screen stating "PLEASE STAND BY" consumed Dan's vision. After a few seconds, the screen went black, and then Dan saw a racing slideshow of his memories. Apparently he had to sit through this thing too. The memories seemed to start five year prior, as Dan saw himself on vacation in Florida with his then girlfriend just after graduating high school.

"Bitch." Dan muttered to himself.

The slides continued. He saw his orientation at college, as well as some shots of his first classes and some time getting to know his roommate. Nice kid, but way too studious. Ended up burning out and moving to some communal farm in Hawaii. He saw Christmas with his family, New Year's with his ex-girlfriend, her naked body riding his…

Dan suddenly realized some other potential issues with sharing his memories.

He his first beer, his first joint, his bitch ex-girlfriend breaking up with him, and so on. Before long it was summer again, and he knew a year had passed. So far, everything was pretty uneventful. He saw memories of his summer job working as an assistant and tutor for the intellectually and developmentally disabled. He actually felt pretty touched seeing those old faces smiling at him, and thought about paying a visit sometime soon. He was long overdue to see them. On a more dubious note, he thought about how many brownie points this would score him with Piper.

Sophomore year of college followed, which – if Dan remembered correctly – was a pretty trying time academically. This was just going to be a few minutes reading books and taking online quizzes. He saw more of his summer job, and before long he was arriving at JFK for semester abroad in Rome, and was looking forward to the slideshow covering the next four months. He saw pictures of several sights in Rome, as well as a few from the weekend trips he took around Europe. Every so often a picture flashed by containing a short girl with curly blonde hair, large brown eyes, and thick-rimmed glasses. Dan winced a little at each picture.

After Rome, the rest of college flashed by without much excitement. It was followed with moving in to his first apartment, his accounting internship, graduate school, his first accounting job, getting fired after six months, and then a couple of months of sitting at home and doing nothing. A large chunk of Dan's time spent playing Fallout was during these months, but it never showed up. Instead, every so often, he'd see a snapshot of himself sitting in front of a blank, white TV screen. Apparently Fallout operated by _Westworld_ rules. Before long he saw an image from inside the crypod, followed by a metal hallway, and then Piper pistol-whipping his temple. Everything went black, and then the he was back in the memory lounger.

[Autosaving…]


	11. Chapter 11

The glass top of the lounger slowly rose, and Dan made his way out of the pod. To his right, Piper was still sitting in her pod. Her hands were clasped in front of her mouth, as she stared blankly forward in silent contemplation. After a while she unclasped her hands and rubbed her eyes, then made her way out of the pod.

"His story… actually checks out." she said.

"Glad to hear it." Amari said, almost sounding uninterested.

"I mean I didn't see any portals or windows to other worlds," Piper resumed, "But that was definitely not here. That placed you worked – that was in Southie! You were right by the ocean!"

"Yeah, we call that place 'Seaport.'" Dan replied, softly chuckling to himself.

"And your job, I mean, I couldn't understand a thing you were doing but all those numbers looked like something scientific!" Piper added.

Thankfully the concept of tax forms K-1 and 5471 were soundly forgotten post-apocalypse.

"And oh my God, those computers! You should've seen them, Amari! The colors and pictures – and you could access anything from there! All of the knowledge and news in the world…"

"Yeah, it's pretty nice," Dan nervously scratched at his neck, "But our robots are kind of lame, so I guess it evens out."

Piper flashed Dan a grin that was half sly and half sympathetic. She then looked down and locked her hands behind her back. She timidly kicked at the dirt on the floor, and then resumed speaking:

"And, um, you were right. How you got here – I don't know how it happened. You just went to bed one night and – and then you were in the vault…" She began playing with her earlobe with her thumb and index finger, looking almost guilty.

"Want to… maybe head to the Minutemen now?" Dan suggested.

"Yeah." Piper replied. She allowed Dan to lead the way out of the Memory Den. Dan check his Pimp Boy and saw it was still only 12:15 PM.

"Hey, uh, wanna head back to the alley?" Dan asked.

"Yeah." Piper replied, "I think that might be good.

The two started on their way to the empty alleyway, passing a slew of civilians on the way. Once in the alleyway, the made there way to the end by the now familiar green dumpster. For a moment they both were silent, unsure of who should speak first. Dan decided on Piper, but she needed another moment of awkward quiet to come to the same conclusion.

"Dan, I'm sorry." Piper apologized, sounding almost ashamed. The sincerity of her apology made Dan feel a little guilty. He did lie – and was continuing to do so – and yet she was the one stuck with all of the indignity. In his usually manner, he decided he could possibly lighten the mood with some humor.

"I'm sorry you saw my ex-girlfriend naked." he jested, giving Piper a fake, exaggerated grimace. Her laughter that followed was equal parts relieved, embarrassed, and nervous.

"Yeah, that was – uh – something. I think I get why you may have wanted to avoid sharing your memories." Piper replied.

"Yeah, some things are better left private." Dan said sheepishly. While the joke sounded good in his head – and it did seem to have the desired effect – Dan was a little regretful for bringing his underwhelming sex life to the forefront of the conversation. Thankfully, Piper distracted him with another question:

"Do you miss it?" she asked.

"Do I miss what? The – that world? Where I came from?" Dan asked, needing clarification.

"Yeah." Piper confirmed. Dan thought for a moment, and then sat down on the street, his back leaned against the brick wall of an old building.

"I don't know." he answered, "I mean, Piper, you saw me there, right? I was just some unemployed schmuck. I felt like I was going nowhere – I had no real purpose in my life. I'm not gonna lie, the world was better – no nuclear war can have that effect – but here…" he paused again, and noticed Piper was heading towards him to take a seat by his side, "Here I feel like I can do something. I can help people, I can maybe – just maybe – do something to bring down the Brotherhood. I could make a difference and help rebuild this place, actually do some good!"

[Piper Loved That]

"That's pretty admirable, Blue." she said, tilting her head and presenting another smile, "I don't mean to keep pressing you, but if you don't mind telling me… who was that girl?"

For a moment, Dan wished things were the way Piper saw them. He wished he had been trapped in this world, with no option or ability to head back to his own reality. Now more than ever he was reminded of the several disappointments reality held.

"What girl?" he asked, pretending to not know exactly who she was referring to.

"You know," Piper began, "For a while there this girl kept showing up. She was a little thing, with curly hair…"

"Oh." Dan butted in, "Annie."

"Yeah, her." Piper confirmed.

"I – I know how it feels." Dan quietly said.

Piper tilted her head curiously, but let Dan continue to speak.

"You loved Dicksmash, despite him being – well, what he was. I know how that feels. Have – have you ever heard of Italy?"

Piper shook her head. Dan saw that most of the street had been covered with a thin layer of wet sand, and so, using his finger, he began to draw in it.. He always loved history and geography, and while he could not draw a map of the world perfectly, he knew enough to get the areas that were important. He drew a rough outline of North America, followed by Europe – ending at the Balkans. He figured Russia wasn't too important for this story.

"We're right here." he made a small dot with his finger on the east coast of North America, just above Cape Cod, "And here is Italy." he circled the boot-like peninsula jutting from southern Europe.

"You see," Dan continued, "In my dimension, when in school, you could spent a few months at another school; in another country. I went to school here, but I got to travel to Italy, in a city right here." he made another point with his finger, in central Italy on the west coast, "A city called Rome. It was the best four months of my life. It was an ancient city, full of buildings and monuments that had been around for millennia. One day, on a trip to this city called Siena, I met a girl. Annie. I was just looking for a recommendation for where to get lunch, and she pointed me in the right direction. She decided to join me and – oh, God, we talked and laughed for hours until our tour guide forced us back on the bus. From the moment I met her I knew there was something special."

"Dan," Piper interrupted, "You don't have to keep going. I get it."

"No, no." Dan insisted, "It's okay. It's almost… therapeutic to tell somebody – I mean, if you don't mind?"

Piper nodded, and so Dan continued, "I saw her every day for those four months. We talked, toured the city, we did everything together. One night we visited this beautiful church – San Giovanni in Laterano – and we spent the whole day talking about it. The marble sculptures, the mosaic in the apse… fuck, even the ceiling. We decided to grab a few drinks after. I even remember the bar – some shithole called G-Bar across the river. I got a black Sambuca and she got a B-52. After enough drinks I had the courage to talk to her. Tell her the truth. I loved her, and I wanted to be with her forever."

Piper's eyes widened. Dan glanced at her and chuckled.

"No, I didn't say that. I just said I liked her, and I'd like to take her out sometime. Now, she was from the U.S. Right around here." he dotted another spot in the northern center of the U.S., "A city called Chicago. She told me it couldn't work. She was too far away, and once we got back to the States it would be impossible to stay together." Dan paused and tapped his foot on the ground three times, "Maybe two weeks before I got sent here, she got engaged. Guy was a soldier, still deployed. He spent most of his time at a military base in Gaeta." he dotted another spot in Italy, just south of Rome.

"Engaged?" Piper asked.

"It means," Dan paused again, "You want to spend the rest of your life with somebody else."

"Oh." Piper replied. Dan didn't take much time to continue:

"When she told me it wouldn't work, I understood. We were far apart, it would've been tough. But then she decided to shack up with some… fucking jarhead halfway across the world!" Dan stopped, and took a couple of deep breaths, "I get it. Most people's lives' don't have a happy ending. I understood when she told me it wouldn't work, but some part of me hoped that maybe, maybe in the future, we could be together. Then, she decides to spend her life with some guy farther away than me. That day in Siena I met the love of my life." again, he paused and tapped his foot, "She didn't."

[Piper Loved That]

[Piper Admires You!]

Dan suddenly felt Piper's hand grip his, and she clutched it tightly. Her eyes stared deeply into his, as her mouth formed a sympathetic smile.

"I'm sorry." she murmured.

"You don't have to be sorry." Dan replied, "I just want you to know I get it. When you thought someone was perfect – your soulmate – and they turn out to be just see you as another person; somebody they'd pass aimlessly on the street. It's like trying to open a door in a burning house. You kick and you scream and try with all your power to get through, but it does nothing. It doesn't budge. You just let the fire consume you as you hopelessly struggle against an unmoving object. I understand."

Piper and Dan sat there for a moment. Neither of them made a sound, just appreciating each other's company. Then, suddenly, a young hooligan made his way into the alley. He wrenched his arm back and chucked a green object at the pair. The speedy article whizzed through the air, eventually striking Piper painfully on the ear.

"Ow, God! What was that?" she shrieked in pain, gripping the side of her head. Dan got up and walked over to the object, picking it up and quickly examining it.

"Is – is this a lime?" he asked aloud, to no one in particular.

"What the hell is a lime?" Piper asked, still holding her sore ear.

"I – I didn't think there were limes here…" Dan contemplated, "Who did this? Why would you throw a lime at people? We were having a moment!"


	12. Chapter 12

The meeting with the Minutemen barely deserves mention. It was about as riveting as you could expect a meeting between a club consisting of four miserable wastelanders and their hastily elected leader to be. Not much was said; Piper explained her promotion to leader of the Minutemen, and the four remaining members put up no real resistance. Between all that has happened with Preston, Dan, and that small boy throwing limes at her, Piper had did not have her usual vigor. Normally she would try to better understand and address the low morale amongst her teammates, but right now she was just too tired. She told them she would give them some time alone, and would address such issues later. She left the Old State House to find Dan outside, staring and the ground and twiddling his thumbs. The two hadn't spoken much since their time in the alley; Dan had escorted her to the meeting, and Piper came to the conclusion that it was best he sit this one out. He agreed.

Dan caught Piper from the corner of his eye, and decided now was a good time to take advantage of the Pimp Boy's time altering nature. He went to check the time – 1:45 PM – and spent a moment thinking about what to say. The original game was so much less complicated – just pick some locks, be nice to synths, give some bum a Nuka Cola, and suddenly Piper's in love with you. There's no actual courtship or any of those other things Dan is terrible at.

Dan figured he could maybe put the topic off for a few more hours by suggesting they head to the meeting, considering it was only 15 minutes away. He was soon saved, however, by a blurb of text entering the upper-left corner of his vision:

[Autosaving…]

Normally Dan would be furious upon seeing such words. Right now, however, they proved fortuitous. His stay had been shorter this time so he figured this wasn't a full-night's sleep. Hopefully he could use his free time to think of some way to handle this.

Awaking to darkness, Dan removed his helmet to see some dull light shining through the closed blinds. He felt the usual grogginess one experiences after a long, heavy, drug-induced nap. His phone was just beside him on the coffee table, and so Dan grabbed it to check the time – 1:45 PM.

"Wow," Dan thought, "That's just plain spooky."

Mike had left at 7:45, and considering the time it took for Dan to finally fall asleep, he figured he had slept for somewhere around four or four-and-a-half hours. He got up to brew some more coffee, but a sudden gurgling in his stomach told him coffee wasn't what he needed currently. He turned towards the refrigerator and searched desperately for some kind of food. He found an old Tupperware container filled with macaroni and cheese. Now, this was not your standard instant mac n' cheese, oh no. This was homemade by the wonderful kitchen virtuoso that is Mike's mother; sent in a care package to Mike as a little gift for Dan. It was an absolute symphony of flavors, capable of sending any human to a cheesy nirvana. Dan snatched the container from the fridge and emptied its contents into a plastic bowl, which he then stuck into the microwave. Once ready, Dan removed the bowl and began to messily shovel the pasta into his mouth.

Once finished, Dan headed back into the living room and flopped onto the couch, his hunger satiated. He turned on the TV and browsed through news channels to see if there were any important updates, rubbing his belly the entire time. First was NBC:

"The advancing Chinses fleet raises concerns for…"

"Boring." Dan replied, switching to CNN:

"Are millennials responsible for the Fourth Crusade? The results probably won't surprise you."

"Don't care." Dan thought, switching to CBS:

"A potential lawsuit for Bethesda after users of the new VR Experience Helmets claim to be undergoing severe psychological…"

"Irrelevant." Dan said, switching to FOX:

"Is Barack HUSSEIN Obama responsible for the Fourth Crusade?" the newscaster was already cut off, as Dan had opted to switched to the HMDI input connected to his Chromecast. The news stations were boring him, so he figured he could spend some time catching up on any movies he missed.

Dan browsed through some recent releases, and eventually stumbled across Martin McDonagh's latest flick, "Two Project Housing Developments Located in Brookline in the Greater Boston Area but still not a Part of Boston, MA." Having heard good things from his friends and family, he decided to kick back for the next two hours and enjoy the film. He opened an incognito window – so as to be invisible to the NSA – and found a site where he could stream the movie for free.

"Eh, not as good as In Bruges." Dan said, severing his laptop's connection to the Chromecast two hours later. He still had a couple of hours before he had to head out to Norwood, but Dan was having some trouble occupying his time. His thoughts lingered on the Fallout world – the wasteland that was the Commonwealth. They were stuck on Piper – and it confused and disturbed Dan. He knew exactly what was happening – he was becoming obsessed with a nonexistent woman – but he seemed to be stuck in that world. In a different body and mindset that told him…

"'Sup, fucker?" Mike's voice called from the front door. He came up the stairs and entered the living room, dropping a cardboard box full of whiskey, beer, and…

"Is that a bong?" Dan asked.

"What? Oh, yeah," Mike replied, "I stopped by the headshop across the street. Mine's old as shit and we're going to Ken's so I figured – ya know, fuck it! So, you gonna be ready to head out soon?"

Dan checked his phone, and saw it was already 5:30.

"Holy shit!" he exclaimed, "Uh, real quick. Just let me pack my stuff."

Dan hadn't showered or even gotten dressed. Truthfully, he had no idea where the time went. Between finishing the movie and pondering on Fallout, he thought only seconds had passed. Turns out it was closer to two hours.

Dan rushed up the stairs and hastily picked out an outfit. Nothing crazy, jeans and a T-shirt would do. He grabbed his backpack, and quickly proceeded to stuff it with chargers, clothes, and toiletries. He made his way back downstairs and grabbed his keys.

"Mike, you wanna head to the car? I'll be down in a sec." Dan said, double checking his backpack to make sure he remembered all of the essentials.

"Sure thing." Mike affirmed, making his way downstairs.

Dan took a moment to stand in the living room, gazing at his VR helmet. Was there really that much harm in bringing it? Sure, he wore it to bed, but so what? It's just a video game – and a pretty modern video game at that! Nobody would judge him, he could just wear it to bed, and then enjoy another few good hours in the Commonwealth. Nothing was wrong with that. Dan stuffed the helmet into his bag, zipped it, and headed to the front door. The duo made their way to Dan's care, and their journey to Ken's began.


	13. Chapter 13

"This is the world we live in!" Dan bellowed.

"Woah-oh-oh!" the radio called back.

"And these are the hands we're given!"

"Woah-oh-oh!"

"Dan, can we shut the radio off?" Mike begged.

"Oh." Dan replied, turning off the radio, "Something on your mind?"

"No," Mike began, "It's just that you've been playing _Land of Confusion_ on repeat since we left the apartment."

"And?" Dan inquired.

"And… I'm sick of it?" Mike replied.

"Okay, Mike…" Dan started, "Look, I like you, but talk shit about Genesis again and you can go right ahead and get the fuck out of my car. I swear to God I will pull over and let you hitch a ride to Norwood."

"We're in Norwood." Mike pointed out.

"Ah." Dan said, checking his phone's GPS, "Well, I guess we can go 4.6 miles without any of the genius that is Mike Rutherford."

"I thought Phil Collins was the lead singer?" Mike asked.

"He didn't write the song!" Dan exclaimed, slamming his fist on the steering wheel, "He didn't. Write. The song."

After a few minutes of awkward silence, the duo arrived at a long, ranch-style home on a dark cul-de-sac. They spent a few moment collecting all of their essentials from the car, and then made their way to the front door. Dan rang the doorbell, and a tall, ginger man answered. He opened the door to greet his guests.

The night was, admittedly, a good time. By the time Mike and Dan had arrived, hunks of beef and pork had been prepped and were in the smoker. Plenty of beer, liquor, and that dank bud was available for consumption. Dan drank, smoked, and gorged himself on food to the point of vomiting. Unfortunately, the munchies ran strong in Dan after toking. He had a bad habit of eating too much, purging, and then resuming in his gluttony. He was at least cautious, making sure to do his business in the toilet with the door closed. Thankfully he had the common sense to stop smoking after the first incident.

After enough time had passed, more guests arrived, and Dan's revelry was stopped by strange feelings of inferiority. He felt awkward around his old school mates – each had some interesting tales from work about their newest project or about how they were expecting a promotion. Dan, on the other hand, had spent the past two months unemployed, sulking on his couch in self-pity. That, and he was wrestling with his feelings for a character from a video game. Rather than mingle with the other visitors, he self-consciously hid himself in the corner of the living room, hoping to avoid attention. This was largely successful, until Ken had noticed him.

"Yo," Ken said, addressing Dan, "Everything alright?"

Dan – for obvious reasons – had no desire to discuss his issues with Ken.

"Yeah," Dan replied, "I'm just fucking exhausted."

"Yeah man?" Ken answered, "Well, the basement is empty. You wanna crash on the couch down there?"

Dan stood up and feigned a yawn, "Ugh, yeah. That'd be great." Dan grabbed his backpack, and gave Ken a friendly slap on the back on his way past, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Truthfully, Dan was beginning to feel quite tired. The cannabis and hooch had begun to stop impacting him, and he felt drained and weary. He slowly walked down the stairs into a cold and dimly-lit room. He could see an old couch placed against the back wall, and set himself up to sleep. He placed a pillow on one end, lied down, and draped a blanket over his body. Finally, he reached into his bag to grab his new favorite toy. He fixed the helmet onto his head, and for a few moments saw only darkness. His head and limbs ached from the excess drinking, and his mouth was dry and parched. Soon enough, however, such discomforts were gone as he fell unconscious.

The former darkness eventually transformed into the ruined city that was Goodnieghbor, and there Dan was still standing awkwardly in front of a bashful Piper. He felt odd at first. He had entered this world somewhere between hungover and still intoxicated, but now was suddenly clear-headed and full of vigor. He thought for a moment about what to say, until he remembered the safe option he had considered earlier in the day.

"So it's almost 2:00," Dan started, ending the uncomfortable silence, "We should probably head to the Rexford."

"Yeah," Piper answered, still gazing at the cobblestone street, "We should get going."

Dan had hoped that the walk would be painless. It would take no more than a minute, and he had figured it would just be a quick silent stroll followed by an important meeting that would take precedence over whatever was going on between the two of them. Piper, however, had different plans.

"So, about last night…" Piper started.

"Oh, fuck me." Dan thought as he turned his eyes towards Piper's.

"I'm just… Look, I like you, okay?" Piper began to explain, "You seem like a good person and – you just seem real."

Dan raised an eyebrow, confused, and Piper scrambled to try and find the right words to explain her thoughts.

"Sometimes I felt like Dicksmash was just this… I don't know, shell of a person. He just seemed to do whatever he thought I – or anyone else – would like, but there was nothing else to him. Nothing really original. At the time I was blind to it, but now I see how stupid I was. I think there's more to you, and even with you weird psychic – powers, or whatever – I think there's actually something in there. You have a good soul."

Dan helplessly smiled like a child whose mother had just called him handsome, "Thanks, but… that was incredibly hokey."

Dan chuckled at himself while Piper snorted in friendly laughter. She then made some sort of sound reminiscent of heavy machinegun fire and people screaming. Dan was taken aback by this sound until he looked up and noticed that the sound was not, in fact, from Piper. Rather, what he heard was the sound of a machinegun mounted on a Brotherhood vertibird firing on helplessly screaming civilians. Dan's feelings were mixed. On the one hand this would be the first time any sort of action occurred in his playthrough, but on the other hand he was completely unarmed and only level two.

Suddenly, a super-deformed image of Preston Garvey appeared in Dan's vision. He was radioing two Brotherhood Knights, who then quickly jumped into a vertibird that flew out of sight. Underneath it was some text:

"Started: **A Minuteman Scorned**. Confront Preston."

"That little fucking…" Dan started, in a guttural growl. He was stopped, however, by Piper.

"Why are they attacking? They've never tried this before!"

"Seriously?" Dan barked back, "Piper, they are an absolute military powerhouse controlling the entire Commonwealth. We are a couple-hundred underequipped bandits living in a run-down Quincy Market. I'm shocked this hasn't happened already."

[Piper Disliked That]

"No, wait," Dan backpedaled, "I mean, I…" Dan stopped, as a bullet from somewhere on the street level grazed his left arm. His jumpsuit was torn, and red dripped from the small, open cut on his triceps.

"Ow!" Dan shouted, covering the wound with his right hand, "Ow! That fucking hurt! Why does it hurt?"

"You were shot!" Piper rhetorically explained, "Are – are you crying?"

"No!" Dan whimpered as he sniffled and wiped a tear from his face.

"Ugh, come on!" Piper grabbed Dan's arm, and began to escort him down the street, "We need to get to the armory!"

Dan knew that his objective was to find Preston, but stocking up on supplies was far from a terrible idea right now. The duo ran through the streets, dodging stray bullets along the way. While they saw nobody on the ground yet, both knew it was only a matter of time, it they hadn't landed already. They made their way into a one-story building, and once Piper had turned on the lights, Dan saw it filled with an impressive supply of guns, armor, and ammunition.

"Take your pick." Piper instructed, trying to catch her breath.

"Do you have any long-barreled, dot-sighted, non-automatic .308 combat rifles with a powerful receiver?" Dan asked, "Also, any polymer, deep-pocketed combat armor and military fatigues? These would all be appreciated."

"Uh, they're in the back…" Piper said, pointing to the end of the building, "That's an oddly specific order there, Blue."

Dan made his way to the back of the armory, and was delighted to find everything he had requested. He quickly switched into the fatigues, equipped his armor and rifle, and then stocked up on all of the ammo he could collect.

"Oh!" Dan exclaimed, "Per chance, do you have any, uh, sunglasses?"

"Why would those be in the armory?" Piper asked back.

"I was just asking!" Dan defensively replied.

"Well," Piper reached into a pocket, retrieving a pair of patrolman shades, "I've had these for a while. I never really use them so…" Piper stopped, as Dan had already swiped the glasses from her hand and placed them over his eyes.

"Oh fuck yeah." Dan said. He looked at his Pimp Boy to check the radio stations available. Surely enough, the modded station known as "Kick-Ass Tunes" was still present. He selected it, and then returned to the desolate world surrounding him. A quick drum beat erupted from the device at his wrist, followed by a woman's voice:

"His name is King, he had a horse,

Along the countryside, I saw him ride…"

Gun in hand, Dan turned to Piper, "Let's do this."

Dan and Piper made their way to the front door, side by side. Dan knocked the door back with a powerful kick, and a flash a bright light entered the armory. Outside, he saw a handful of Brotherhood initiates and scribes, but (thankfully) no knights or paladins. Dan realized that he may actually have a shot at this. He raised his rifle and prepared to himself to get his first few kills in this playthrough.


	14. Chapter 14

"This… this is… what the fuck, how do I V.A.T.S.?" Dan asked in an enraged tone.

"What are you talking about?" Piper inquired, slowly picking off the low-ranked Brotherhood members.

"I… ugh, nevermind." Dan said, infuriated, realizing he would actually have to aim at his opponents. He stared down the sight of his rifle, and took a few pot-shots throughout the alley. He managed to graze the limbs of a few initiates, but it was largely Piper who finished them off.

As time went on, however, Dan felt a sudden surge of adrenaline course through his body. Each shot was like a burst of pure energy, pushing him to keep fighting. His shots grew more focused, and he began to hit Brotherhood soldiers in their torsos and heads. The savage excitement of combat had enveloped him as he mindlessly slew several soldiers. For a time, the work felt effortless. He killed soldier after soldier, levelling up along the way. Such excitement was cut short, however, as a sole vertibird flew directly above the duo.

A Brotherhood Knight – clad in a polished set of T-60 power armor – dropped from the vertibird, landing menacingly upon the cold ground. In the knight's hands was a combat shotgun, which she pointed squarely at Dan's chest. Still in the midst of his combat high, Dan returned her threatening stance by directing his rifle between her eyes. The knight stared Dan down, and soon her voice rose to meet his challenge.

"And what the feck do ya think yer doin', exactly?" the knight rhetorically asked in a forced Irish brogue.

"Oh, no way…" Dan gasped in disbelief, "Oh no fucking way."

"And what're ye having such a hard time believin'?" the knight asked, exaggerated, "Put yer feckin' gun down now!"

Dan lowered his gun, "So that's Cait, right?" he asked Piper, pointing at the Brotherhood knight.

"Ugh," Piper groaned, "I should've known she'd be here. So what're you doing out in the field, Cait? Dicksmash finally grow tired of you?"

"Sounds like yer jealous, love." Cait saucily replied.

"You… little… bitch!" Piper replied behind a clenched jaw, raising her revolver.

"Woah!" Dan shouted, "Did you just… swear?" Dan looked back and forth between the two women. Suddenly, an idea dawned upon him. It was not an idea he was particularly proud of, but – based on his countless hours spent in the Commonwealth wasteland – it was one that would work.

"No, wait!" Dan replied, pressing his hand against Piper's arm. "I think – I think I might have an idea."

Piper looked at Dan, curious as to what he was hinting at. Dan spent a moment considering what he was about to do. He first looked at Piper, then at Cait, and then at Piper again. Given the situation, the choice was obvious. Still, he was unhappy for what he was about to do.

"I – I think I have a way out of this." Dan reluctantly told Piper, "Just please – please – promise to forgive me."

Piper squinted at Dan, and then nodded her head in compliance.

"You sure you know what you're doing?" she asked.

Dan looked down and sighed, and then looked back at Piper.

"Unfortunately." he answered. He then turned towards Cait, "Hey, Paddy!"

Cait responded, lifting her head and gun to Dan. Dan quickly opened his Pimp Boy before she could shoot, speedily scrolling to the inventory screen. He made his way into "apparel," and swiftly unequipped all of his articles of clothing. Once done, he spent another moment making sure this was the right decision. After a deep, contemplative breath, he realized that this what for the best. He closed his Pimp Boy, and prepared for the worst.

"I'm naked!" Dan bellowed, frantically running up and down the alley to draw Cait's attention.

[Cait Liked That]

"Uh…" Piper pondered in a voice full of confusion, disgust, and a hint of jealousy.

"Naked!" Dan shouted again, running laps around the thirsty Gaelic (possibly Hibernian) knight. He saw an innocent ghoul behind a dumpster, cowering from the Brotherhood onslaught. Dan grabbed the ghoul by his collar and dragged him into the street, making sure Cait could see.

"I am so sorry." Dan muttered to the ghoul before promptly socking him in the face.

[Cait Loved That]

"Dan!" Piper shouted in clear frustration.

"Look at me! I'm an asshole!" Dan shouted, continuing to streak throughout Goodnieghbor, "I do horrible things to people for no good reason! Hey, ghoul!" Dan said, addressing the ghoul he had just assaulted, "Fuck you, ghoul!" he said, punching the ghoul in the face for a second time.

[Piper Disliked That]

[Cait Loved That]

[Cait Admires You]

"Naked!" Dan proceeded to shout, sprinting directly in front of Cait. He put his hands behind his head, and began to thrust his pelvis at the knight, "Naked, naked, naked!"

[Cait Liked That]

[Cait Liked That]

[Cait Idolizes You]

The back of Cait's power armor opened, and she stepped out from the hulking mass of metal.

"Oh Christ, just take me, fucker!" Cait exclaimed, jumping on top of the nude Dan. Her arms and legs wrapped around the protagonist, sending him toppling to the ground.

"P – Piper – Help, please…" Dan begged, forcefully pegged onto the street. Piper slowly made her way over to him, judgmentally glaring at his helpless body.

"You sure you need help?" Piper sarcastically asked.

"Okay, I did not consent to this." Dan replied.

""Oh really?" Piper questioned, "I mean, you were running around naked…"

"Not the time for slut-shaming, Piper!" Dan cried, "And seriously, she won't stop humping me, so…"

"Cait!" an unknown voice beckoned. Dan looked up and saw a vertibird directly above, its a flood light shining over him and Cait. Two characters hopped down from the vehicle, landing a few feet from Dan. The shockwave from their landing rippled through Dan's head and back, making him feel woozy. Dan's eyelids grew heavy, and his will to fight began to subside.

One knight was wearing the same Brotherhood armor as Cait, while the other was in a set of flashy blue X-01 armor. In his hands he gripped a similar combat rifle to Dan's.

"N – Nuka Cola…" Dan muttered, feeling his consciousness fading, "Nuka Cola…"


	15. Chapter 15

[Autosaving…]

Dan awoke, his vision slowly returning. He was surrounded by sliver steel walls, coated with lines of rusted piping. His arms were raised above his head, bound to two large steel bars jutting up from the ground. In front of him stood the two Brotherhood Knights. One was clad in that reflective blue X-01 power armor, while the other was in a standard issue set of T-60 armor. Dan jutted his head around, trying to understand where he was. To his right and left were Piper and Cait (respectively), tied up in a similar situation to Dan. Above him was a gigantic beige sack with a metal walkway running through it, covering most of the roof of the building.

"The… the Prydwen…" Dan whispered, turning his head towards the Knight in blue armor, "You…"

"Me?" the man asked. His set of armor opened from the rear, allowing the occupant to step outside. He was a strapping individual, wearing nothing more than the typical orange uniform of the Brotherhood of Steel. He sported a faded pompadour, with a short but thick layer of facial hair covering his cheeks and chin. He calmly approached Dan, and once in front of him he gently stroked his face.

"Me… and what, exactly, is me?" the man asked in a slick, venomous tone.

"Dicksmash McIroncock." Dan bluntly stated. Dicksmash responded with a swift slap to the right side of Dan's face.

"That's ELDER McIroncock." Dicksmash sternly replied.

"Can I just call you Dick?" Dan answered, "Because, honestly, I really can't take you seriously otherwise. Your name is just too fucking stupid."

"Oh my God," Cait added, "Yer name means 'penis.' Jesus that's hysterical."

"Ha!" Piper exclaimed, "I just got that."

"Silence, mademoiselle!" the other knight shouted, raising her laser rifle at Piper, "You will respect our Elder!"

Hearing that voice - touched with a French accent - Dan knew exactly who the other knight was. Just as he had done with Cait, he figured he could abuse the game's mechanics a little further.

"Oh, well, bonjour there, mademoiselle." Dan said to the knight, raising his eyebrows provocatively.

[Curie Liked That]

"Covalent bonds…" Dan whispered in a seductive tone.

[Curie Liked That]

"Carbon lattice…" Dan said in a bolder tone, biting his lip.

[Curie Liked That]

Dan felt a sharp spike of pain as Dicksmash's hand struck his cheek again.

"You!" he screamed, "You will cut that shit out!"

"Omelette du fromage…" Dan defiantly spoke.

[Curie Liked That]

Dan suddenly felt as through a train had slammed full-speed into his abdomen. The pain surged throughout his body, forcing him to violently cough a small splatter of blood. His vision was slightly hazy for a moment, and when it returned he saw Dicksmash gleefully massaging his fist.

"Curie," Dicksmash addressed his associate, "Exit that power armor."

Curie obeyed without hesitation. The back of her suit opened, and Curie swiftly stepped out. She was sporting a tight and extremely deep-cut vault suit, as well as a larger than normal bust. While Dan knew Piper could not possibly know this was the result of a mod he had installed, but he still felt slightly embarrassed about the sight. Dicksmash approached her, and gently caressed his face with his hand.

"Now, honey, I'm going to need you to head back to your bunk. I'll see you in the morning."

Curie nodded and silently left the room, and Dicksmash readdressed the two rebels and Cait.

"You," he said, walking towards Dan, "A little birdie told me that you were making some serious waves over in Goodneighbor."

"Not to sound humble," Dan interjected, "But, uh, not really. I just got interrogated, and then I got drunk with Piper and Hancock."

Dicksmash lurched back in surprise, "Wait, seriously?"

"Yeah. I've only been here for, like, two days. I mean, I proved Preston was still in love with you, but I'd hardly call that 'making waves.'" Dan explained, "That was more along the lines of minor intrigue."

"That little bitch…" Dicksmash contemplated for a moment, "You know what? Kill him. You have my blessing. When you get out of here, just fucking kill him. I will hold no grudges."

"You're letting me go?" Dan asked, genuinely surprised.

"Well, in a little bit." Dicksmash walked towards the left of the corridor, approaching a large steel door. He opened the door, jiggling the lock from the other side, and then slammed it shut.

"We just have some minor business to attend to first." Dicksmash reached into a pocket on the left side of his BoS uniform. From it, he pulled out a screwdriver and single lockpick. He softly penetrated the lock with his screwdriver, inserting the pick just above it. After a few moments of adjusting the pick's orientation, Dicksmash finally managed to pry the lock open.

"Mmm… you like that?" he asked Piper and Cait, opening the metal door.

"What in the fuck're ye talkin' about?" Cait impatiently replied.

"Wait…" Dicksmash whispered, re-locking the door and proceeding to pick it a second time, "How about now?"

"Can we leave now? Please?" Piper begged.

For the third time, Dickmsmash locked the door, closed it, and pried it open. Judging from Piper and Cait's faces, they were unimpressed.

"What the fuck!" Dicksmash exclaimed, tossing the screwdriver and pick to the floor. He stomped across the corridor to Dan, "I had such a great plan! I was going to re-romance these two and have them betray you, it was gonna be so emotional and… gah! Why? Why isn't this working?" he questioned Dan, "Everything was just fucking peachy before you got here! They fucking love it when I pick a lock! Why isn't this working?"

Dan wanted to reply with some smarmy remark. He wanted to make Dicksmash look like an emasculated lunatic. Unfortunately, something in Dicksmash's voice took power over him. He tried to fight it, but Dan was helpless to stop the truth from rising out of him.

"I don't know." he responded.

"You don't know? What the fuck do you mean you don't know?" Dicksmash screamed, his face turning beet red, "I can get the truth out of any dumbass in the whole Commonwealth, how are you resisting?"

Again, Dan wanted to make some wry comment, but Dickmsash's voice forced the blunt truth from within him.

"I didn't." he quietly replied.

Dicksmash grunted behind his clenched jaw. Before he could utter a word, Dan felt Dicksmash's hold wash away from him. He could speak freely, and took advantage of such an auspicious opportunity.

"Look, you asked me to tell the truth, and I did. I don't know why this isn't working, okay? Having the ability to persuade people doesn't suddenly make them know shit they didn't already know!" Dan exclaimed.

Dicksmash rubbed his forehead with increasing frustration, then proceeded to storm out of the corridor.

"Curie? Curie? Wake up, dammit! I have some shit I need help with!"

"Dumbass," Dan whispered, checking his Pimp Boy. Once again his wrist phased through the rope so that the screen could be viewed. Dan re-equipped his clothes and armor, exited the menu, and used his newly-free hand to untie the other.

"Okay, seriously, how do you do that?" a baffled Piper inquired as Dan finished freeing his right hand.

[Piper Liked That]

[Cait Liked That]

"Uh, p – practice?" Dan sheepishly replied. "Wait, why did they like that?" Dan thought, "I mean, I guess it's in the same ballpark lockpicking but they never liked it in the game before. Do you even untie stuff in Fallout?"

"What the fuck is this?" an infuriated Dicksmash growled as he reentered the corridor. "You really thought I didn't know?" Dicksmash said, raising his left arm and repeatedly jabbing his finger at his own Pimp Boy, "I've done this hundreds of times, dipshit!"

"Questions for later, I guess." Dan thought as he raised his rifle. "Eat lead, Dickweed!" Dan shouted, pulling the trigger with his barrel pointed at Dicksmash's chest.

Not more than a millisecond passed after firing the rifle when Dan heard a distinctive ping, followed by a flash of intense pain in his chest. The pain was followed by a numbness that covered his body and clouded his mind. Dan looked down and saw crimson rivers of blood trickling down from the newly formed whole in his chest. His legs lost all of their strength, and Dan collapsed helplessly onto the floor. His duller hearing could sense a few footsteps, and soon Dicksmash was towering over him with a sickly grin spreading across his face.

"That's Dicksmash, fucker."

"Blue!" Piper desperately cried, so loud that it could pierce the wall of buzzing that filled Dan's ears.

Soon however, Dan's hearing was gone. A loud ringing was the only thing audible to him now. His vision began to blur, and it eventually faded to black. The last thing he could see was Dicksmash's evil smile.

"Fucking… ricochet…" he wheezed with his last breath.

[Autosaving…]


	16. Chapter 16

Dan awoke, his vision slowly returning. He was surrounded by sliver steel walls, coated with lines of rusted piping. His arms were raised above his head, bound to two large steel bars jutting up from the ground. In front of him stood the two Brotherhood Knights. One was clad in that reflective blue X-01 power armor, while the other was in a standard issue set of T-60 armor. Dan jutted his head around, trying to understand where he was. To his right and left were Piper and Cait (respectively), tied up in a similar situation to Dan. Above him was a gigantic beige sack with a metal walkway running through it, covering most of the roof of the building.

"Oh God fucking dammit!" Dan exclaimed.

"That, uh…" Dicksmash stuttered, "That's not exactly what I was expected you to say…" Dicksmash's power armor opened and he stepped out from the back, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. He turned to Curie and resumed speaking:

"Do – Do you think he got a concussion?"

"I scanned all of them prior to boarding, and there were no signs of cranial abnormalities." Curie confidently answered. Dicksmash approached Dan and waved his index finger in front of his face. Dan's eyes followed, and the odd concern washed from Dicksmash's face. Dan couldn'

"Okay, so, uh anyway…" he began before Dan interrupted.

"You're Dicksmash McIroncock and we're on the Prydwen. I know."

"Okay, seriously, what the fuck? Come on!" Dicksmash stomped his left foot in fury, "There's a fucking art to this, you know? You act scared and confuse while I act like a domineering – but composed and sophisticated – asshole!"

"You literally could not be doing a worse job right now." Dan sneered with a deadpan expression.

[Curie Disliked That]

[Cait Liked That]

[Piper Liked That]

"Aw Christ, I think I'm in love wit'im." Cait said in a shaky voice.

"Shut up, Cait!" Piper barked from Dan's right, "Not again! Not after him!" she growled, pointing her bound hand at Dicksmash.

"Oh-ho-ho! Somethin' ya wanna confess, love?" Cait snarkily replied, prompting Piper's eyes to widen in shock. She turned her head away from the other persons in the room and remained silent.

"Okay, can you all just shut the fuck up?" Dicksmash requested in a surprisingly resigned tone, "None of your love-triangle garbage will matter in a sec." Dicksmash approached a steel door to the right, and once again removed a single lockpick and screwdriver from one of his pockets. He then opened the door, locked it from the other side, and closed it.

"Ok look, a closed door. And here am I, armed with only a lockpick and screwdriver. Cait, Piper, you're gonna want to…"

"That won't work." Dan shouted to Dicksmash.

"Nice try, kid, but I'm calling your bluff." Dicksmash confidently answered, proceeding to start with his lockpicking.

Seeing an opportunity, Dan opened his Pimp Boy. His hand phased through his bindings and time froze all around him as the screen opened just in front of his eyes. He decided to spend a few moments developing a plan. Shooting Dicksmash was definitely not the best idea – even if Ricochet didn't come into play, he was far more skilled and powerful than Dan. Curiewas also still in her power armor and could easily take him out. He could try persuading and/or romancing Curie, but Dicksmash would most likely put an immediate stop to that. A few minutes of inconclusive pondering passed, but Dan kept getting distracted by a large, beige blob in his upper periphery. That giant sack of hydrogen had always bothered him – why didn't they use helium? The Hindenburg still would have happened in this universe, surely…

"Aha!" Dan mentally exclaimed, equipping his rifle, clothes and armor. Maybe he wouldn't have to deal with Dicksmash after all. Exiting his Pimp Boy, Dan made another pleasant discovery – apparently equipping a weapon frees your right hand as well. This will probably be fixed in a later patch.

"Nobody fucking move!" Dan cried, pointing his rifle directly upwards, "Dicksmash!"

Dicksmash snapped his head over his shoulder, and then furiously tossed his pick and screwdriver on the ground, "Oh son of a bitch!" he equipped a combat shotgun, aiming at Dan, "He used the fucking Pimp Boy."

"Cease hostilities!" Curie cried, raising a laser rifle at Dan.

"Uh, Curie, that's kinda out of context here." Dan explained, "I'm not really shooting at anyone. Like, 'drop your weapon' would be more appropriate."

"What the fuck is he even pointing… oh, fuck me!" Dicksmash wondered, glancing towards the ceiling, "You wouldn't."

Just like the last time, Dan felt a power come over him. Dicksmash's voice forced the truth out of him. Thankfully for Dan, however, he wasn't bluffing.

"I would." he replied. Dicksmash's face turned grim, and in his silence Dan resumed speaking, "Okay, here's the deal. Curie puts down her gun, gets out of that armor, and unties Piper and Cait. Then the three of us leave on a vertibird. Otherwise, we all explode."

Dicksmash took a moment to stare Dan down. While Dan knew he had to give into his demands, Dicksmash's unflinching gaze was still highly unnerving. Eventually Dicksmash caved, turning towards Curie and nodding. Curie left her power armor and untied Dan's two accomplices. Before she could walk away, however, Dan grabbed her wrist with his left hand – his right still pointing the rifle at the ceiling. While repeating past events could be annoying, it ultimately meant death was of no consequence, and so he figured he could push his luck just a little bit.

"Curie…" he whispered, getting the synth's attention, "Beta radiation double helix retrovirus quarks Newton's Third Law flux capacitor PV=nRT Schrödinger's Cat 6.022*10^23 the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell."

[Curie Loved That]

[Curie Loved That]

[Curie Loved That]

[Curie Admires You]

[Curie Loved That]

[Curie Loved That]

[Curie Loved That]

[Curie Idolizes You]

"Can you pilot a vertibird?" Dan asked, somehow in a seductive tone.

"Oui, mon amour."

"Motherfucker! I heard that!" Dicksmash shouted,

"Run!" Dan exclaimed. He knew Dicksmash's shotgun had high damage potential, but Dan and his harem had distance on their side. Dan heard Dicksmash unload a shot in the distance, followed by a fairly audible explosion.

"Oh shit…" Dan thought. Another shot, followed by another loud explosion, confirmed his fears. Dodging sporadic bursts of explosive rounds, the four made their way up some flights of metal stairs, running down a corridor ending with a large steel ladder. Thankfully it was late, and the entire ship was either asleep or just waking up to the commotion. Even those who were now awake had no way of know what sort of a kerfuffle was occurring.

Once the made their way up the ladder, Dan burst through a steel door. Beyond the threshold lay a steel platform where all stationed vertibirds could be found. Seeing a vehicle just two ahead on the docking station, Dan sprinted outside. He stopped however, when an unbearable burning sensation tore through his left arm.

"Fucking fuck!" he screamed, grasping his left bicep, "Motherfucking cocksucker son of a whore! God dammit!"

The Vault Boy appeared in Dan's vision, walking with his left arm wrapped in a sling. Dan turned his head, and saw a Brotherhood Knight approaching from his rear.

"Blue!" Piper shouted, sprinting outside to his rescue. Armed with her familiar six shooter, Piper emptied four rounds into the knight at point blank range. While Dan was unsure of how much actual damage this did, the sheer force from the combined shots was enough to send the Knight back and eventually toppling over the platform railing. Dan could hear the Knight's distorted screams as he plunged to Logan Airport below.

Just as Dan had done for her the night before, Piper wrapped Dan's arm around her shoulder and help him briskly walk to the vertibird. Once inside, Piper helped strap Dan into a passenger seat. After Dan was properly secured, she took control of the left turret – and Cait took the right. Curie entered the cockpit, and the long process of the vertibird's departure began. A long, metal arm attached to the vehicle extended, and they slowly left the dock. The twin propellers began to spin rapidly, and once they had built up enough speed, the veritbird was released.

"Ow!" Dan cried, seeing that Piper had punctured his arm with a stimpak. Suddenly, a perfectly healthy animation of the Vault Boy strolled through Dan's vision. His left arm suddenly lost all traces of pain, and even any visible damage had vanished. Dan rubbed his arm, and gave a quick, grateful smile to Piper.

"Where to, Monsieur?" Curie asked.

"Well, while I'm probably not going to like the answer, is Goodneighbor still an option?' Dan inquired.

"Oui." Curei replied, surprising Dan, "After you and Piper had been retrieved, we promptly left the settlement."

"Oh, then, uh, Goodneighbor," Dan had not forgotten his mission objective, "There's someone I need to have a chat with."


	17. Chapter 17

"So, like, how did you get here?" Piper asked Cait. The two were both leaning against the vertibrd's sealed cockpit, while Curie was inside twiddling her thumbs.

"Whadaya mean, how'd I get here?" Cait confusedly inquired, "I escaped from the Prydwen with ya!"

"No, I mean, ugh," Piper slapped her forehead and sighed, "So you're Irish, right? Like from Ireland?"

"Nah love, I grew up in Schenectady." She explained.

"In New York?" Curie's muffled voice asked from inside the vertibird, her face pressed against the window.

"No, the other feckin' Schenectady." Cait snapped back, "After I, er, took care of me parents, I came over to the Commonwealth to start over. Like any other Irish fuck livin' in the States, I have an internal compass guidin' me to Boston."

"But why do you have that accent?" Piper continued to press Cait. Cait shoved her hands into her pockets and stared at Goodneighbor's entrance for a moment, contemplating a response.

"I – I didn't really see anyone else growin' up." She paused and raised her left hand to scratch just under her nose, "It was just me n' me parents. They came over from Ireland – I ain't sure when – n' they talked just like this. I didn't really hear anyone else's voice as a girl, so I picked up their brogue."

"Yeah, but how did they get here?" Piper questioned, seeming completely uninterested in Cait's story.

"I – they never told me. I'm not sure. How did they get here?" a baffled Cait wondered.

"Societies have survived in Ireland," Curie said, opening the cockpit door, "They were not a primary target during the Great War. The damage done there is comparable to the damage Boston suffered. It is likely there are several communities thriving in the island."

"But – but how could they cross the Atlantic Ocean?" Piper asked, "I don't think they had any ships that could do that."

"I – I am unsure…" Curie replied.

"Why're ya so concerned about how me family got here?" Cait asked, growing annoyed by the constant questioning of her place in America. Before anyone could respond, the front gate to Goodneighbor swung open, and a blood-splattered Dan sprinted out to the ship.

"Start the vertibird! Start the fucking vertibird!" Dan cried.

Curie silently obeyed, hopping back into the cockpit and pressing a few buttons. The propellers started to whirl faster and faster until the vehicle hovered just a few inches off of the ground. Cait and Piper took their spots on the two turrets as Dan strapped himself into the passenger's seat.

"Where would you like to go, monsieur?" Curie asked.

"Fucking – I don't know, okay?" Dan said, gasping for air, "Up. Let's just go up."

Following Dan's command, Curie elevated the vertibird to a safe distance above Boston.

"How did your chat with Preston go?" Piper asked Dan.

"Yes, uh, that chat…" Dan stuttered, wiping the blood stains from his combat armor, "The chat, where I, uh, chatted with Preston, and nothing else. We talked, using several words, and nobody was murdered. In that peaceful talk, I learned that – while under house arrest – Preston had radioed Dicksmash McIroncock. He told him about my arrival, his arrest, and how I might be a threat to the Brotherhood. After that I left without murdering anyone. I ran back because I was excited, and not at all to avoid detection by the prison guards in Goodneighbor. So, what did you guys do while I was away?"

"Eh, just talked for a little bit." Cait replied.

"Oh, was it about me?" Dan replied, provocatively raising an eyebrow at Piper.

"No, not really." Piper bluntly replied.

"Oh, cool. So we passed the Bechdel Test. Nice." Dan said, wiping some sweat from his brow, "So, I had an idea in there. When I played – er, um – observed this world, I noticed something. There is an entire refuge of synths completely untouched by Dicksmash or the Brotherhood. I think we could possibly rally them to our cause."

"Wait, seriously?" Piper asked, growing excited by the news.

"Yeah, but… we're gonna have to travel pretty far. Curie, can you take us to Acadia?" Dan asked.

"I am sorry, but I am unfamiliar with such a place." Curie sheepishly responded.

"Fuck," Dan muttered, "What about Far Harbor?"

"I have never been there." Curie replied.

"Nakano Residence?" Dan desperately asked.

"Oh, oui!" Curie excitedly exclaimed, "Dicksmash took me once by accident, and then immediately went to the Parsons Creamery."

"Marvelous." Dan replied in a tone of feigned enthusiasm, "Please take us there."

"Oui, monsieur." Curie replied, maximizing her obligatory French.


	18. Chapter 18

Rei and Kenji Nakano were enjoying a peaceful afternoon, lazing on the couch while Kasumi tinkered away in the family's boathouse. Being so removed from the bustle of the Greater Boston area had its perks, and it was the only reason such quiet and peaceful moments could be afforded by the family. Unfortunately, however, it can be difficult to enjoy a quiet afternoon when a Brotherhood vertibird comes hastily approaching from the south. The Kasumi's were quickly alerted by the deafening whirring of the vertibird's propellers. Kasumi rushed across the dock from the boathouse, hoping to get into the house before any Brotherhood soldiers could notice her.

"Dad!" she cried, rushing through the back door, "Dad, unlock the basement door, I need to hide!"

"What for?" Kenji barked back, "The Brotherhood has always had their little inspections. We have nothing to hide!"

"Dad, I…"

"No! I will have none of that talk!" Kenji sternly interrupted, slamming his right fist into his open left palm, "You are my daughter, Kasumi!"

"But what if I'm not?" Kasumi asked, silencing her father, "I won't die because of your stubbornness! Let me hide."

There was a brief moment of silence, but the sound of the vertibird landing added a much greater sense of urgency to the Nakano family.

"Just open the door, Kenji…" a resigned Rei whispered to Kenji. There were three firm knocks on the door, and Kenji handed a small brass key to Kasumi, who briskly made her way to the basement door. Meanwhile, Rei answered the front door, and saw two individuals. One was a man – clad in white combat armor and wielding a combat rifle – and the other was an unarmed woman in a red leather coat and cap.

"Ma'am, could we please speak to you?" the man asked in a courteous – albeit slightly nervous – tone.

"Um, yes, of course! Make yourselves at home." Rei gestured towards the couch and chairs in the living room, and the man and woman made their way over. Rei followed them, and her husband was already seated. The man and woman saton opposing ends of the couch, and the man rested his rifle on the floor, leaning on the couch's arm.

"Now, this is going to seem… strange," the man explained, "But I need you two to hear me out completely. I have no intention of harming you or your daughter."

Rei's eyes widened and Kenji clenched his fists. Taking note of their responses, the man continued to elaborate:

"We are not affiliated with the Brotherhood of Steel. I am not sure what your political stance is on the matter, but we are, in fact, actively opposing them. I understand your daughter believes she is a synth?" Rei nodded in affirmation, "May I speak to her?"

Without any warning, the creak of an old door opening could be heard, followed by a young woman's voice.

"I, um, heard all of it." Kasumi's shy voice answered. She entered the living room and awkwardly stood above the rest of the group. To ease the tension, the man stood – leaving his rifle – and extended a hand towards Kasumi.

"Dan Murphy." he warmly said, flashing a friendly smile. An uncomfortable moment of silence passed before he spoke again, "You're, uh, supposed to shake it."

The woman suppressed a chuckle. "Kasumi!" Kasumi unintentionally shouted as she hastily gripped Dan's hand and shook it vigorously. She then hurried to take a seat at the center of the couch.

"Oh, um…" Dan stuttered, "Look, I am really just gonna be talking with Kasumi, and that'll feel kind of weird if I'm sitting, like, just next to her on the couch. Um… you know what?" Dan turned to Kenji and Rei, "You guys are family, why don't you three sit on the couch and Piper and I can take the chairs." Dan paused for a moment, and then pointed at the woman, "Also her name is Piper."

The group shuffled around the room until the entire Nakano clan was on the couch, sitting across from Dan and Piper.

"Okay, so, Kasumi," Dan started, "You have personally met with Dicksmash."

"Yes," Kasumi explained, "He helped set up a truce between Far Harbor, the Nucleus and Acadia, he…"

"Woah, woah, woah…" Piper interrupted, "Dicksmash – current Elder of the Brotherhood of Steel – brought peace to Far Harbor?"

"Kasumi, you must understand why we find that hard to believe." Dan added, knowing damn well the only reason Dicksmash did so was to obtain both Acadia's Shield and Atom's Bulwark.

"It's true!" Kasumi insisted, "I understand it doesn't make much sense and – and I don't understand what happened with him and the Brotherhood since then, but he helped those people!"

"Okay, whatever," Dan said, not wanting to push the point any further, "Why Dicksmash did what he did is irrelevant. The point is that Acadia is still there. The Brotherhood is exterminating synths, and nothing we do at the moment can stop them. We don't have that kind of power, and if they set their sights on Acadia they'll be wiped out in an instant. Kasumi, I know you can help us get to Far Harbor. Maybe with our combined efforts we stand a chance."

"You are not suggesting she come with you?!" Kenji exclaimed, rising up from his seat, "I finally have my daughter back! I will not lose her to…"

"Dad!" Kasumi cried, silencing her father. Once he had quieted down, she turned back to Dan, "I'll help you get there, but I'm not going to stay with you."

"That's totally acceptable." Dan said, smiling, "I have two other friends waiting in the vertibird. I'll have the pilot fly you home once we arrive. Now, you two." Dan's voice changed from pleased to stern as he addressed Rei and Kenji, "The Brotherhood will find out that I was here. I stole that vertibird and left with two Brotherhood defectors. In fact, they'll probably get here before Kasumi returns."

Kenji sank into his seat and rubbed his jaw in a distressed gesture. Dan continued speaking, hoping to assuage their fears.

"Act like I never came here." Dan explained.

"But how do we explain our missing daughter?" Rei asked in a shaken voice.

"You don't," Dan started, "Kasumi was hiding when I showed up. Act like you are hiding her in the house. If Dicksmash knows we took her he will immediately assume it was to visit Acadia. Now, Dicksmash is not an idiot – he will search for her, but if he can't find her he'll simply look for us somewhere else. While you all may have your doubts, he knows as well as I do that Kasumi is no synth."

"You see!" Kenji blurted out, gesturing at Kasumi, then Dan, and then back at Kasumi, "I told you!"

"Oh come on!" Kasumi yelled back, "How could he possibly know that? We've just met him!"

Dan thought back to a playthrough he had later save-scrubbed. One where he told the Brotherhood about Acadia, and in response they slaughtered every resident of the synth refuge. He had Dicksmash search every corpse for junk and ammo, and Kasumi's lacked something all others there had – a synth component. From then on, it infuriated him whenever she insisted she had to be a synth replacement of the real Kasumi. He gritted his teeth whenever she cited her technical prowesss as proof of her mechanical nature. The sheer stupidity and wrongness of such an argument was enough to drive him insane. Now, however, he had something to prove her wrong. He had his own voice in Fallout, and he had the charisma to convince almost anyone that he was in the right. Dan nudged Piper's arm, and when she glanced at him, he gave her a look that said "Just roll with whatever I am about to say." She gave a slight nod to show that the message was received and understood.

"Kasumi," Dan began, "I told you I stole that vertibird from the Brotherhood. I was on the Prydwen. During my time there I got to review the catalogue they had taken from the Institute – one that details every synth they had produced." Dan scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously, "Now, when given access to that kind of information, one gets curious. I never thought about it before, but… I just had to know for sure if I was really – really human. I downloaded the catalogue holotape to this," Dan gestured at his Pimp Boy, "And I cycled through every name twice. I didn't see any synth that matched me, and I didn't see any that could've possibly been you."

Kasumi fell silent. Her eyes widened and stared blankly at the wall opposite her location.

"I knew it!" a tearful Rei sobbed, embracing Kasumi, "I knew you were my daughter! You were always my daughter!"

"My God…" Kenji whispered, his hands shaking. Rather than hug his daughter as Rei had, he promptly left his seat and gripped Dan's right hand, shaking it enthusiastically.

"Thank you!" he said as his eyes began to well up, "Thank you so much!" He released Dan's hand and hugged Kasumi so tightly that she had to gasp for air. Kasumi pushed against her parent's arms, continuing to gasp desperately, prompting them to let go.

"I – I was so sure…" Kasumi raised her palms and stared at them, before lifting her head to look at Dan, "How?"

"I'm not sure what to say," Dan started, "Other than that, well, you're not a synth. In the Commonwealth today several people have their doubts, but I know, Kasumi, that you are an organic human being."

Kasumi closed her eyes and took a deep breath. As she exhaled, hey eyelids opened, and she looked seriously at Dan, "We – we should probably get going."

"I agree." Dan said. Kasumi silently left the couch without uttering a word to her parents.

"Please…" Rei begged, "Please bring her back safe."

"I promise." Dan said, making his way back to the vertibird as Piper and Kasumi followed.


	19. Chapter 19

"How long have we been in here?" Dan groaned, sounding increasingly restless.

"Like… 10 minutes?" Kasumi replied.

"How long until we get there?" Dan grumbled back.

"I don't know, like an hour and a half?" a growingly frustrated Kasumi answered.

"Dan sighed and gazed out the open side of the vertibird. To his left were the alternatingly rocky and sandy shores of the Atlantic Coast, and to the right was an endless expanse of bluish-green Ocean. Staring out the right side of the ship could be hypnotic, and at times the calm waves seemed nonexistent. The stillness of the water made it look almost like the vertibird wasn't moving at all. Only the gusts of wind could confirm the hasty speed with which the ship was moving towards Far Harbor. After a time, however, Dan stopped feeling the ocean breeze as well. He noticed that the girls in the vertibird seemed to be deathly still, and then it dawned upon him.

[Autosaving…]

Before his vision went black, Dan remembered just what it was he had been doing the night before. This was not going to be pleasant. His vision faded completely, and it suddenly felt as though his head was three sizes too big. There was a burning in his chest and crushing pain in his stomach. Amidst all the pain, Dan could still notice a hand gently tapping on his shoulder.

"Dan? Dan, get up. It's already 1:00. We need to get back to Somerville."

Dan slowly removed the helmet from his forehead and saw Mike standing over him.

"Ah, good. You're alive." Mike jested. Just above Mike's head, a bright ceiling light blared in Dan's eyes, and it seemed as though a sharp pain was being sent into Dan's skull. Dan clenched at his gut – and ignoring all other pain coursing through his body – got up from the couch and rushed into the nearest bathroom.

Sometimes the sickness after a night of debauchery can last for quite some time, and leaves one incapacitated for hours. Thankfully, Dan seemed to have slept most of his hangover off, as once he had wretched into the toilet, flushed, and rinsed out his mouth, he seemed ready to go.

While Dan seemed relatively fine, Mike preferred he drive back just to be safe. Dan – always willing to do less work than necessary – was happy to oblige. The two packed their things, said their farewells, and finally made their way back to the apartment.

Something felt off to Dan on the ride back. As soon as the car made its way onto Route 95, he felt as though hours had gone by before they reached their exit, despite the short ride. Route 93, however, went by in an instant – despite the much longer trip. Once they had arrived in Somerville Dan once again felt woozy and disoriented, and sprinted to the living room couch, dropping his backpack just a few feet away. He opted to lie down and watch some TV. He assumed the previous night was largely responsible for such sickly feelings.

"So… you brought the VR helmet to Ken's?" Mike asked on his way inside. Dan, even though not having uttered a word to Mike since Norwood, immediately felt irritated by the conversation.

"Yeah. Is that a big deal or…?" Dan asked, trying (though not very hard) to mask his annoyance.

"No, it's just…" Mike trailed off to collect his thoughts, "I feel like that thing has dominated your life since you got it."

"I've had it for, like, three days." Dan explained, "It's just a new toy! I'm having fun with it, and eventually I'll get bored with it. Don't worry."

"You took some of my Nyquil, Dan." Mike stated, "I hadn't opened the bottle yet."

"Oh, that?" Dan stuttered, "Yeah, I was having a hard time sleeping and…"

"See!" Mike exclaimed, "There! Hard time sleeping? You just wanted to play that fucking game!"

"Okay, so, if it's 2:00 AM on a Wednesday and I can't sleep, should I just deal with it and fuck up my whole weekly routine, or take some Nyquil? I just needed to get some sleep!"

Mike bit his lip in thought, and Dan continued:

"Look, I appreciated the concern but you are seriously freaking out over nothing. Yeah, I use this helmet when I sleep, but why not? It's fun and it's harmless. I'm not doing fucking crack or anything. I'm just playing a video game in my sleep. Okay?"

Mike shrugged, and then offered a brief apology to Dan. Dan thanked him and continued to lie on the couch, feeling tired and weak. After Mike had left the room, he reached for his backpack just a few feet away. For a while now Dan felt slumber coming on, but despite his arguments he still felt a little uncomfortable wearing the helmet around Mike. He slipped it on and closed his eyes, drifting into a pleasant sleep. This time he felt particularly gleeful, as he knew upon awakening the hangover would be gone.

[Autosaving…]

Dan soon saw himself lounging next to Kasumi on the passenger seats of a vertibird. The turrets were mounted by Piper and Cait, while Curie served as pilot. It hadn't been long since Dan was last asleep, and he remembered he still had some time before reaching Acadia. The silence in the vertibird – aside from the whirring of propellers – made him a little uncomfortable.

"So… is there, uh, anything we should be ready for when we arrive?" Dan nervously asked Kasumi.

"Well, make sure I come out first, or at least with you, when we land." Kasumi said, "I don't know if the thought ever occurred to you, but you're about to land on a synth-only refuge in a Brotherhood vertibird.

"That's… a good point." Dan said, "Is there any chance they might try to take us out from the air?"

"Not really. No real air support or artillery in Acadia." Kasumi explained, "I mean, not for lack of trying, but good luck ever convincing DiMA to install any sort of weapons in Acadia."

"So DiMA's still doing well?" Dan asked.

"Wait, you knew DiMA?" Kasumi inquired.

"Who's DiMA?" Piper asked.

"He's the guy who's kind of in charge of Acadia, I guess?" Dan turned from Piper to Kasumi, "And no, I don't know him, I just know of him."

Dan really wanted to explain who exactly DiMa was to Piper, but he feared that would raise further questions from Kasumi. In addition, spoon-feeding that level of exposition verbally just felt boring and cheap. Piper would learn plenty when she arrived.

"So, Kasumi…" Dan continued, "Honestly, what are the chances that DiMA agrees to help us?"

Kasumi scratched her chin and thought for a moment, gazing blankly at the vertibird's roof. "Well, you were kind of vague back at my house. You said you wanted their help or to team up or… something… but what does that mean?"

"Well, uh," Dan started, "I mean, anything helps. Fighters, reconnaissance, supplies… every little bit helps."

"I'm sure they'll be able to help in some way, I'm just not entirely sure how." Kasumi answered.

"Hey Blue," Piper added, turning her neck back to Dan, "Is there anything you miss? You know, from your…" Piper glanced at Curie, Kasumi, and Cait, "Well, you know."

"Uh…" Dan hesitated, "Are you sure we should be talking about that?" Dan asked, nodding at their company.

"I'm just making conversation, I'm sure we'll be fine." Piper insisted.

Dan spent some time thinking. It was especially difficult to answer this question when there was nothing he really missed from his world. He returned to it every couple of hours, how could he miss anything? He spent some time wondering what exactly he would want back if the world had suddenly ended, and before long he had an answer. Unfortunately, he had no desire to explain to Piper what exactly Pornhub was, and so he settled on what he would miss the second most.

"Cheese." he bluntly answered, "You guys have no cheese."

"Cheese?" Piper asked, completely baffled.

"So, you know how you guys have Brahmin?" Dan asked, and Piper nodded in confirmation, "So, before they were mutated by the radiation, Brahmin were called 'cows.' They had one head and were covered with fur. We could get milk from their udders…"

"Udders?" Cait asked as though she was a part of this conversation.

"You know? Those dangly-bits hanging under the Brahmin?" Dan asked.

"What? Ya mean those aren't dicks?" Cait asked, genuinely confused.

"You – you think that those, like, nine things hanging from a Brahmin – are penises?" Dan asked.

"I mean, they're just hanging' there and they shoot out that white…" Cait stopped as Dan interrupted.

"Nope, nope! Okay, yeah, uh… no. They're udders, and… oh, hey, look at that. We're here." Dan said, thankful that he saw the familiar observatory marking Acadia.

As the vertibird approached, Dan saw a woman in a courser's uniform step outside, followed shortly thereafter by two men. One had black hair and sported a white lab coat, while the other wore a fedora and worn trench coat. Each one raised a weapon at the vertibird, holding their fire until they saw its contents. The vehicle slowly descended to the ground, and once landed Piper, Kasumi, and Dan stepped out.

"Kasumi?" the woman in black asked, lowering her gun.

"Chase!" Kasumi replied, rushing towards the synth and embracing her in an affectionate hug.

Piper, meanwhile, slowly stepped closer to the man in the trench coat. He raised his head, and the brim of his fedora no longer covered his face. Dan saw bright yellow eyes and peeling grey skin, revealing a robotic skeleton underneath.

"Nick?" Piper and Dan asked in unison.


	20. Chapter 20

"Well, look what the cat dragged in!" Nick joked, helplessly smiling at the sight of his old friend. Piper sprinted to the synth and lovingly wrapped her arms around him. After a few moments of tenderness, Piper loosened her grip.

"So, who's this?" Nick asked without a hint of courtesy. Dan took a few steps forward and awkwardly waved his hand.

"Hi, I'm, uh, I'm Dan. Big fan." Dan extended an arm, hoping to receive a firm handshake. Instead, Nick pointed at Dan and turned his head to Piper.

"How does this guy…" Nick stopped, as he was interrupted by a voice coming from the vertibird.

"Holy shite, is that feckin' Nick I hear?" Cait shouted, hopping out the vehicle.

Nick lowered his eyebrows in solemn resentment, "Oh God, who invited Cait?"

"It's, uh, a long story." Piper answered, "We also brought Curie… if that's alright." The group heard a muffled "Bonjour!" echo from inside the vertibird.

"Hey there, kid." Nick said, giving Curie an awkward wave. He then turned back to Dan and Piper, "Not that I'm complaining or anything, but what exactly brings you up here? Acadia's a long trip from Boston."

"Well, you see," Dan explained, "We came here for help. We need to bring down Dicksmash and the Brotherhood…"

"No." Nick brusquely replied.

"No?" Piper asked.

"No. I'm here because of that damn two-faced son of a bitch." Nick explained, "You can't beat him, kid. He's got an absolute military powerhouse backing him, and all of the Commonwealth is his save Goodneighbor. We can't beat him, so I folded my cards and took shelter up here."

While disappointed, Dan was sure his superficial charm could at least persuade Nick:

"Nick, I understand how you feel, but there are good people in the Commonwealth…"

"I said no!" Nick growled behind a clenched jaw, "Do you know how long I've been with that psycho? He's not human… like a damn devil in human skin. He can turn people to his cause, kill whole armies on his own… no. We can't win this fight. If you want to seek shelter you are welcome to, but I'm not joining some suicide mission back in Boston!"

Piper covering her agape jaw with her hand, shocked and disappointed in Nick's response. Cait, however, expressed her disappointment in a more verbal sense.

"Oh you goddamn little bitch! One man scares ya so ya just tuck yer tail and hide up here in bumblefuck nowhere?" she clenched her fists and stomped towards the group, "I saw somethin' in ya. Hell, I even liked ya, but now I see whatcha really are. Just a damn coward!"

"Cait!" Kasumi shouted, shocked by her accusative profanity.

"No, wait," Dan interjected, turning towards the synth in a black coat, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Chase," the synth replied, in a professional – albeit not overly friendly – tone.

"Now, Chase, I've been led to believe a synth named DiMA is – in a sense – in charge here?"

"Well, not formally, but…" Chase stopped as Dan resumed speaking.

"I don't care about formalities. If I needed to make a request of Acadia – ask for help – who would I see?"

"DiMA." Chase stated, nodding her head in affirmation.

"Thank you, Chase." Dan said, turning back to Nick, "Nick, I'm sorry you disagree with me, but it sounds like your opinion doesn't mean jack shit right now." Dan stepped closer and closer to the synth, until their faces were mere inches apart, "Now, if you'd be so kind, let me inside so I can have a chat with DiMA."

Nick was always a man of quiet dignity – a strong silent type. He was surely boiling with rage after Dan's dominative gesture, but he'd never show that. All emotion washed from Nick's worn face as he silently led the group to the front door of the observatory. With Chase's permission, he opened the large, steel door and let the group inside.

They were greeted by a long, gray corridor, with bits of rusted piping running throughout. At the end was a large rotunda with a raised platform in the center. Atop the platform several screens and processors were present, as well as a lone swivel chair. Seated inside of the chair was a synth with the familiar golden eyes and gray skin of Nick, as well as several bulbs and tubes propping up from his back. The synth seemed completely unaware of the group's entrance, and so they silently made their way down the corridor.

The synth sitting in the rotunda slowly turned his eyes towards the group, and after a moment of inaction rose from his chair. The synth stood tall – an effect only amplified by the raise platform – making him appear like a strange, mechanical god, judgmentally gazing down upon his subjects.

"Chase, Faraday, brother…" the synth said in an eerie whisper, "And Kasumi. I must confess that I'm happy to see you again."

"It's, uh, nice to see you too, DiMA." Kasumi replied, feigning joy.

"I see you have brought outsiders to our sanctuary." DiMA continued, "I do not mean to be direct, but why have you come here?"

"We seek help." Dan said, bluntly hiding the more explicit details of their predicament.

"Oh?" DiMA asked, shifting his glance towards Dan, "And what sort of help do you seek?"

"I – I mean, I guess we're open to anything…" Dan stuttered.

"Hm…" DiMA stood still in thought for a moment, "What is your name, child?"

"Dan Murphy." Dan answered.

"Dan… a nice name. So simple." DiMA said in what Dan assumed was meant to be a compliment, "Tell me, Dan, what is your earliest memory?"

Dan thought for a moment, and then playfully chuckled, "I was a boy – maybe six. I was at the dinner table with my family. My dad was drinking a glass of vodka and…" Dan stopped and chortled again, "And I thought it was soda. I took a big gulp, and before you know if I'm puking my guts out over the kitchen sink."

Piper, Cait, Nick, and even DiMA had a good, friendly laugh at the anecdote. Dan felt that's DiMA's laugh was less genuine and more of a polite gesture, but it was nevertheless appreciated. After the crowd had their fun, DiMA resumed speaking.

"Now, Dan, how real do you think that memory is?"

"Pretty real," Dan confidently stated, "It was before the war. I came out of the same vault as Nick."

"He also checked the synth catalogue from the Institute!" Kasumi added

"The what?" Dan asked. He then felt a small pain in his left shoulder. He saw Piper at his side, her eyes wide and head bobbing towards Kasumi.

"Oh, shit… uh, yes! I saw the catalogue when I stole that vertibird from the Brotherhood. I learned that Kasumi and I are not, in fact synths."

"I see…" DiMA replied, "But how can you ever know for sure?"

"I mean," Dan started, growing agitated, "Cross-checking a record directly from the only place that ever produced synths seems like a pretty safe bet. And on top of that I was born in 1994 and have pre-war memories so, yeah. Probably an organic GMO free human."

"But you will never be entirely sure?" DiMA further pressed, "Such memories can be fabricated by…"

"God, look, I get it!" Dan interrupted, his voice raising in frustration, "I can never know with 100% certainty whether or not I'm a synth without someone killing me and digging for a component in my innards. Right now, I'd say I'm at a solid 99% certainty, and that's as good as it's gonna get!"

Dan paused and took a few breaths to compose himself. He would probably be less infuriated if such a question of being a synth wasn't so entirely irrelevant to him.

"I understand why you're asking me this." Dan explained, "Being a synth is a big question for anyone out here. People's lives are fabricated and replaced every day. It's a terrifying concept. I'd like to say there's no difference between being a human or synth because, well, I believe that. Despite being artificially built, a synth is atom-for-atom the same as any human. They think and feel like any human. But right now, they cannot live the same life as a human because, unlike me, the Brotherhood will fight and kill any synth it can catch. Being a synth paints a giant target on your back. I get the rhetoric, and there is a small chance I'm a synth, but in the confines of this conversation that doesn't mean a thing. Can you help us?"

[Piper Liked That]

[Nick Liked That]

"You still haven't answered my question." DiMA said, "What do you need?"

"And, like I said…" Dan answered, "Anything helps. Supplies, weapons, soldiers, vehicles... just anything."

"Dan..." DiMA responded, "We are not a violent people here."

"Tell Avery and Tektus that." Dan dryly replied.

"Uh, I…" DiMA stuttered, breaking his perfect composure, "Be – be that as it m – may, we – we don't have any sorts of weapons or soldiers to provide you."

Dan rubbed his eyes in exasperation, "Look, we need something. The Brotherhood will not stop. If we can't stop them in the Commonwealth, they will eventually find their way here. Dicksmash knows about Acadia. If you can't help us, who will?"

DiMA sat back down in his swivel chair ad gazed at Dan, "Ask around Far Harbor and the Nucleus. While I don't necessarily… agree with their methods, they could provide some of the force you might need. Faraday? Chase?" the two synths turned their heads to DiMA, "I'm sure it has been a long day for Dan and his friends. Show them a place to spend the night so that they may resume their journey in the morning."

Dan suddenly saw text flash in the upper left-hand corner of his vision:

 **Friends in Low Places**

Underneath it was an image of High Confessor Tektus and Captain Avery shaking hands, followed by more text:

"Visit the Nucleus and Far Harbor in search of assistance."

Dan was happy to see he was making some sort of progress, but also strangely tired. Trying to balance an internal clock in real life combined with Fallout 4 was fairly jarring. He felt a good night's sleep might be just what he needed.


	21. Chapter 21

Dan awoke on a small cot in the dank underbelly of Acadia. Not too far from him were Piper, Nick, and Kasumi – sitting in three steel chairs surrounding a dimly lit lantern. Aside from the lantern, there was no other source of light in the windowless chamber. Dan had no clue what time it was, or how long he had been asleep. He slowly raised from his cot and walked over to the group, seeing a few more empty chairs up for the taking.

As he took his seat, Dan noticed the reactions of his three compatriots: Piper greeted him with a friendly smile, Kasumi gave a polite wave, and Nick impatiently drummed his fingers on his leg – avoiding eye contact. Once in his seat, Dan let out an emphatic yawn and checked the time on his Pimp Boy.

"It's… oh, holy shit, it's 10:00 already? How long was I asleep?"

"Not too long." Kasumi answered, "We went to bed pretty late."

"I'm assuming everyone else is still asleep?" Dan asked.

"Yeah." Kasumi flatly replied.

There was a short moment of awkward silence. Dan glanced at Nick, who was gazing at the floor and continuing to drum his fingers. Truthfully, Dan felt bad about how he had treated Nick earlier. His actions were largely inspired by a need to act quickly, not malice. But, understandably, Nick's first impression of Dan was less than stellar.

"Hey, Nick…" Dan blurted out, rubbing his neck, "Look, I'm – I'm sorry for being kind of an asshole last night."

Nick looked up at Dan and squinted his eyes in suspicion.

"I just…" Dan thought for a moment, "Time was of the essence. I mean, I don't know how long until the Brotherhood gets here, but Dicksmash knows we fled and is probably tearing up the Commonwealth right now. I was just in a rush."

Nick let out a brief sigh, and then spoke to Dan, "Look kid, I get it. I'm always a little suspicious with new people. We've been talking and Piper seems to like you, and she's always had good judgement – one notable exception notwithstanding."

Piper glared at Nick, but calmed herself down before her anger and embarrassment took a complete hold of her.

"Besides," Nick continued, "I've never been one to hold a grudge."

Dan knew there was a certain dead Whitey Bulger rip-off lying in Andrew Station who would take issue with that statement. While it may have been justified, fantasizing about murdering someone for 200 years definitely qualifies as a grudge.

In case you're unaware, I'm referring to Eddie Winter. Whitey Bulger was the real-life mob boss of the Winter Hill gang in South Boston and Eddie Winter is a very on-the-nose reference to him. I'm unsure of how aware people from outside of New England are of that fact. Maybe that's common knowledge, and my explaining it makes me look like a condescending douche. Or, maybe, you didn't know that and appreciate my witty banter and insightful input. Please let it be the latter. Please love me. I just want to be loved.

Anyway, Dan found it pointless to bring up the blatant falsity of Nick's statement. He nodded in appreciation, and then asked Nick what was on everyone's collective minds:

"So how exactly did you end up here?"

"Well, I was with Dicksmash when he first came up here." Nick explained, "We helped out around Acadia and Far Harbor – hell, even the Nucleus. I met DiMA and… well, it's a long story. Safe to say I learned a lot about myself. He and I are basically brothers now. I know he can come off as a little, er, distant, but he has good intentions."

There was a short, but sufficiently awkward pause, before Nick resumed:

"Point is, after we finished with our work here, Dicksmash and I headed back to the Commonwealth. That's when it all started. First he lured out that Maxson fellow and killed him in cold blood. I had mixed feelings at first – it was a pretty dirty move on his part, but it allowed Dicksmash to take over the Brotherhood. I figured that kind of change in leadership could help synths, but I was wrong. He started snatching up settlements from the Minutemen like it was going out of style, and killed anyone that got in his way. I'll give him one thing, he killed indiscriminately – it didn't matter if you were a synth or human. After he recruited a group of raiders from some amusement park in Agawam, I had had enough. I didn't tell Dicksmash a thing. One night when he was asleep I just up and left. I knew they'd take me here, so I headed to Acadia and… well, that's the story."

"Jesus…" Piper muttered under her breath.

"So then," Nick continued, "That's my story, but how in the hell did you end up here, Dan? I've been around here for over a hundred years, but somehow I've never heard of you."

Piper looked as though she was about to speak, but Dan answered before she had the chance:

"Vault 111," he said, glaring at a now silenced Piper, "I only recently escaped from one of the cryo-pods."

"It was my understanding that Dicksmash was the only survivor." Nick asked in a voice thick with doubt.

"Apparently Dicksmash wasn't the… sole survivor." Dan said, suppressing the urge to giggle at his incredibly lame pun.

"Oh my fucking God…" Piper whispered while slapping her palm against her face.

"Christ… what's all this noise about, then?" Cait said, rising from her cot. She rubbed her eyes and then made her way over to the group.

"Wait, that woke you up?" a baffled Dan asked, "Piper was literally whispering! It said so right in the text!"

"So what're ya all talkin' about?" Cait continued, completely ignoring Dan's question.

"Oh joy, Cait's up." Nick added in a deadpan tone.

"Okay, fuck it. Everyone but Curie is awake. How 'bout I wake her up and we head out?" Dan suggested.

The group discussed the suggestion amongst themselves, before all nodding at Dan in agreement. Dan made his way to the side of the room and awoke Curie with relative ease.

"Alright, I think we can only fit…" Dan paused to count on his fingers, "Seven people on vertibird, so…"

"There's only six of us." Kasumi pointed out.

Dan pointed out his index finger and counted the members of his entourage: "Me, you, Piper, Nick, Curie, Cait… oh, shit. Okay then, let's go."

The group boarded the vertibird in their usual formation – with Curie at the helm and Piper and Cait manning the turrets. Kasumi and Dan sat in the back while Nick sat in the passenger seat beside Curie.

"Monsieur, where are we heading?" Curie asked.

"What do you think, guys?" Dan asked the group, "Either the Nucleus or Far Harbor."

"Well," Nick replied, "They may not be friendly to synths in Far Harbor, but I'd rather not head to a nuclear submarine full of those crazy fanatics. Let's stop by Far Harbor first. You can drop me off here before you head over to the Children of Atom."

"Yeah, sure." Dan replied, "Curie, to Far Harbor!"

"I do not know where that is." Curie said.

"Curie," Dan said, turning deathly serious, "Please exit the vertibird."

"Oui, monsieur." Curie replied, opening the driver's-side door and promptly leaving the vertibird.

"Nick, do you know where Far Harbor is?" Dan inquired.

"Yeah, been there plenty of times with Dicksmash." Nick answered.

"Okay, cool. Can you pilot us there?" Dan asked.

Nick silently nodded at Dan and took the wheel. The vertibird powered up, and as the propellers began to spin with increasing speed the vehicle slowly rose into the air. The propellers on the wings rotated, and soon the vehicle shot forwards towards Far Harbor.


	22. Chapter 22

"Wait, so you're just totally okay with helping us? No questions asked?" Dan inquired.

"Of course!" Avery enthusiastically replied, "You think we don't know about the Brotherhood?"

"Do they know Dicksmash is in charge? They had to have met him." Piper whispered in Dan's ear.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Or never. Whichever comes first." Dan replied.

"I've heard telling's about what's going on back in the Commonwealth." Avery continued, "Those Brotherhood soldiers swallowed up everything but Goodneighbor. Am I safe in assuming you hail from there?"

"Correct." Piper answered.

"I'm not an idiot." Avery explained, "I know they aren't gonna stop. Once they clear out the resistance, they'll be heading up our way. And considering Far Harbor is the southern port on this island, there's a good chance they come knockin' on our door first."

"Should we really just start trusting these outsiders?" Allen Lee interrupted, exiting his shop to join the conversation occurring on the boardwalk.

"Why? Do you think they might actually be Brotherhood agents?" Avery inquired.

"Well, no, but… they're OUTSIDERS! From the MAINLAND!" Lee responded.

"Why is our geographic origin a reason to distrust us?" Dan asked.

"I hate mainlanders! Mainlanders are stupid and mean!" Lee said in a voice increasing in anger volume.

"Hey, Lee, calm down, man…" Brooks said, leaving his store to try and quiet the scene.

"Really, there's no reason to distrust us." Nick pointed out.

"No, stupid mainlander!" Lee shouted, stomping his foot in frustration, "Me hate you! Mainlander dumb!" With that final line, Allen Lee fell on his stomach and began franticly kicking his legs and pounding his fists. Tears flowed from his eyes as he started to cry and scream.

"Oh God, he throwing another temper tantrum. That's the third one this week!" Brooks said.

"Hey, I am sick of your little meltdowns, mister!" Avery bellowed, wagging a disapproving finger at Lee, "You are in time out! Go sit in the corner!"

"No! I hate you, I hate you!" Lee screeched, continuing in his flailing and wailing on the boardwalk. Other residents of Far Harbor began to take notice of the outburst and headed outside to see what the commotion was all about.

"Allen Harper Lee, if you do not go in time out this instant I will take away your shop for a month!" Avery boldly stated.

"REEEEEEEEE!" Lee screeched as his meltdown continued.

"You have until three, two, one…" Avery counted. Just after hitting one, Lee's limbs suddenly stopped in their pounding and flailing. Still on the ground, he took a few deep breaths and wiped away the tears from his face – which was still blood-red from his tantrum. Once he regained his composure, Lee got onto his feet and walked over to the back of the dock, grumbling about mainlanders the whole time.

"I am so sorry. He's usually much better behaved than that…" Avery explained.

"Didn't Brooks say that was the third time this week?" Dan asked.

"Ugh… okay, yeah. Allen Lee is awful, but we can't just abandon him in the fog!" Avery said, "Though I'd be lying if I said the thought never crossed my mind."

Dan approached Avery and placed a sympathetic hand on her shoulder, "We all have our crosses to bear." Avery nodded her head in appreciation, and Dan continued, "So what kind of support can you provide, exactly?"

"We don't have many recruits," Avery started, "But we have plenty of firearms. Also, The Mariner essentially has control over the seas up here, and we're the only active port on the island. We can give you a place to hide if things go south."

"Can you bring any men down south?" Piper asked.

"I have a few nameless guards who can help. We don't need the same level of protection now, what with the Church of Atom and Acadia not being a threat." Avery explained, "But don't worry, they'll come well-armed. Plenty of weapons for themselves, your friends, and some leftovers for the good folks at Goodneighbor."

"We appreciate it." Dan said, "Are these guards any good?"

"Oh, definitely. I mean, Nameless Guard is a little less experienced but he shows real promise. Definitely won't get killed." Avery said, "We've also got some food to spare. The ocean's been pretty generous these past few months, and we find ourselves overstocked."

"Great!" Piper gleefully responded.

"Well," Dan said, "Everything you're offering sounds fantastic, but we'll need to pick it up later. We've got another stop before we head to the Commonwealth."

"Oh?" Avery asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh, you see," Dan started, "We're looking for any possible support, and that's gonna require us to seek help from… all settlements on the island."

"Oh? Oh!" Avery gasped, suddenly understanding Dan's message, "I understand. Well, for what it's worth, relations have improved recently. For some reason High Confessor Tektus really mellowed out for literally no reason."

"Huh. Imagine that." Dan added.

"I won't lie, there will definitely be some – awkwardness – between our men and Atoms's – should they provide any." Avery confessed, "But they won't step out of line. There's a little less tension now, and I'll make sure every nameless guard understands the importance of this mission."

"Thank you for your provisions." Piper graciously replied.

"Don't mention it." Avery answered, "We stand to lose just as much from this as anybody else. It'd be foolish to not provide support."

Piper, Dan, Nick, and Kasumi made their way back to the vertibird parked just outside Far Harbor. Once inside, the vehicle slowly rose into the air and headed west.

"Uh, I just realized…" Dan said, "Does anyone have a hazmat suit?"

The group shook their collective heads.

"What about radaway?"

The group briefly talked amongst themselves, and once against shook their heads at Dan.

"Oh fucking hell…" Dan sighed, "I wasn't exactly hoping to get cancer during this trip."

"But don't you smoke?" Piper asked from her turret, "And you also drink a lot. Like, way too much. And you always put Splenda in your coffee…"

"Well I don't mind getting cancer if I'm doing something fun!" Dan responded, "But from political negotiations? That just sucks."

The group soon saw the familiar submarine base on the ground below and prepared to land. A short distance away, the vertibird slowly came to a halt and descended. Once on the ground, Dan and Nick left the vertibird. Unfortunately nobody else in Dan's entourage had the desire to expose themselves to lethal levels of radiation.

The duo slowly made their way to the entrance and saw a man blocking the entrance. He was clad in decorated marine assault armor, with a thick beard and tattoos covering his face. In his hands was a strange rifle with wires and a metal dish coating the barrel.

"You approach Atom's holy ground. What is your purpose?" the man asked.

"My name is Dan, and this is Nick." Dan explained.

"Hold on… I recognize this one." the man stated, pointing his gun at Nick, "You're the synth that came here with Dicksmash!" he held the rifle to his shoulder, ready to fire.

"Woah, woah!" Dan said, raising his hands in submission, "Calm down! We don't like Dicksmash either, we were here to ask for help fighting him!"

The man lowered his rifled and stared suspiciously at Dicksmash. In response, Dan lowered his hands.

"I'm from Goodneighbor," Da explained, "The last free settlement in the Commonwealth. We came to this island to find support in fighting against the Brotherhood."

"My name is Brian Richter, Grand Zealot of the Church of Atom," Brian Richter, Grand Zealot of the Church of Atom replied, "And if what you say is true, you'll want to speak to the High Confessor." Brian opened the door to the based, and then turned back towards Nick and Dan, "Come inside, and we can discuss this."


End file.
